"That's just it, when it comes to Amara...I can't ever think straight." -Ahmed Abdurahman, FH.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN: When Realization Hits
Third Person
He knew that they didn't want to meet him and didn't blame them at all, he knew he was a terrible father in every way. He was a horrible to them and didn't care for them like he should have, he drank, yelled and never did anything a father should've. But back then, he thought that that was the only way to get them to stop caring for him. So they wouldn't get hurt when they found out the whole truth. The one truth that would endanger all of their lives. He knew that he'd rather have his kids hate him than them be in danger. "This is all my fault." He mumbled as he ran a hand through his thick black hair. "I'm sorry my children, for everything. For drinking, yelling, most importantly not telling you, you had another brother. I'm really sorry." A tear leaked out of his eyes, he wiped it away as he got up.
That's what he wanted to say to them but never got the chance to.
I love you.
* * *
Zakariya sat down with both of his hands running through his short hair. Why did I do that to them? He'd ask himself that over and over again. Amir walked over to Zak and sat down with him. "I really wanted to get to know them. What a joke. I knew this was going to happen. What was I thinking?" He stated feeling disappointed. "They'll come around In Shaa Allah." Zak gave him a look of reassurance.
Zubair Hassan
I saw her crying for the very first time today and it hurt, it hurt seeing her crouch down and bawl her eyes out. I didn't realize seeing her in so much pain, would make me feel so helpless. The moment I saw her, all that I wished was to take the pain away from her. She shouldn't cry... I don't ever want to see her cry like that again. I slowly began to walk back to my room in a daze. All I kept thinking was what happened to her? Why did she look so broken today? She was fine hours ago... But then again a lot could happen in just a couple of hours. Why is she always on my mind? Even when I stop thinking about her, she finds away to sneak back in. Then it suddenly hit me like a wave, the thought just now dawned on me leaving me breathless. Am...am I in love?
No, that's crazy...Right?
I then walked into the suite and sat on my bed to keep me stable. I think about her all the time and I know that sounds super cheesy and cliché but it's true... I feel worried when she's sad and relieved when she's happy. Does that happen when you're in love? But...I can't do anything about it. I can't marry her because we're too young and either way, I don't think she'd want to marry me. I know she doesn't like me that much and that I annoy her a lot. Why would she like me anyways? It's true, she doesn't like me... she's only been tolerating me. She likes Ahmed and he likes her. I should leave them alone. Plus Ahmed is my friend and I can't do that to him, he liked her first. I'm the annoying third wheel and I hate it. I'm usually not like this! I hate cheesy stuff like this! Get a grip Zubair, I told myself. Just sort through your feelings and In Shaa Allah you'll be fine, I kept on repeating this in my head.
"Allah what is wrong with me?" I asked myself, feeling frustrated. Suddenly the door opened and Hamid came in, he looked at me with both eyebrows raised in curiosity. "What's up?" He asked as he laid down on his bed looking defeated.
"I-I think I'm in love with Amara..." I blurted without thinking and more to myself than to him. The door to our room opened once again and Ahmed stood there with an unreadable expression on his face. He definitely heard it...this isn't good.
"What?"
* * *
Amara Abdullahi
I can't believe how many times I broke down because of him. A lot of things happened today, I find out I have a brother, my father wants to meet us, and I found out I knew Zubair from a long time ago. Everything still doesn't feel real, like this is happening to someone else and I'm just witnessing it. I can't even begin to wrap my mind around everything. And to top the whip cream on this crap-cake, I'm also stuck in my suite for a whole week also, I didn't get to even break my fast yet! I looked at the time on my phone and noticed it was time afur. I quickly got up, grabbed some cash and headed to the vending machines to get some food. Today has been a day I'll never forget no matter how much I want to but it was a learning lesson as well. I really need to control my temper.
I placed a ten in the vending machine and got a couple of unhealthy snacks. I feel like eating my own weight in chocolate bars and ice cream. You know the one thing that will never disappoint me? My Cookies 'N' Creme ice creme! It's just amazing okay? Don't question it, it just is! I then sat down on my bed and grabbed my tablet out of my bag and started watching some Netflix while eating. Yup this is exactly how to mend a broken heart. Junk food and Netflix always does the trick.Five chocolate bars and three episodes of glee later, I began to get up off of my bed and decided to go to the restroom to brush my teeth. All the girls are asleep right now making me be the only one a wake. After brushing my teeth and getting into my pajamas, I decided to call Amran.
"Hello?" I heard my sister perky voice.
She sounded happy... I can't tell her what happened. But then if I was her I'd want to know and I'd be angry if someone kept something as big as this away from me. Suck it up Mara! You need to tell her about this. I clenched the phone that was in my hands and cleared my throat.
"Hey, sis. I have something to tell you and it's about dad..."
* * *
Ahmed Abdurahman
I knew something was up the moment I came back to Florida. A part of me always knew he liked her. But what can I do about it? Maybe she likes him too. I can't be angry at him for having feelings for her. She's not mine to claim and she never will be. I just have to accept that. It's hard to acknowledge that the girl you've loved for the longest time may love someone else. If she did have feelings for me then they're most likely long gone. After what I did to her that day, I don't think I'd forgive myself. I hurt her badly and then got into a fight and by the next day I was on the next flight to Monte Carlo where my relatives lived. I was trouble and I still am. I'm making things hard for her already. Zubair stood up and looked me straight in the eyes.
"Look, I don't want there to be hard feelings between us. I know how you feel about her and I know how she feels about you...but I couldn't help it. I still fell for her even when I knew I shouldn't. You can't blame me for that, if I could control how I feel then I would. Sadly I can't so why bother to ignore it? I can't anymore." He stated with sincerity in his tone. I could tell that he meant every word that he said which felt like a punch in the stomach.
Even though I have no right to be upset, why do I feel like I just got stabbed in the back? Hamid who was standing in between us, was quick to jump in just like he always was.
"Whoa you guys need to chill. You can't fight especially over my twin sister. We're friends, okay? Now seize fire!" He looked irritated as hell. I stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind me. I can't give up on her, not until she tells me to back off. Ya Allah please tell me what to do. All I wanted was her to be happy... But it never occurred to me that I possibly wouldn't be the one to make her that. And I just have to accept it... No matter how hard it may be. What am I doing? Fighting over her like a little kid. That's just it, when it comes to Amara...I can't ever think straight.
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