Reflections of the choices

Chapter nineteen. Part 1

"This morning when I woke

Is I know something now

Know something now I didn't before

All I know since yesterday

Is everything has changed"

"Everything has changed" by Ed Sheeran and Taylor Swift

Colin Bridgerton sat in a dim corner of the tavern, leaning against the worn wooden table, the same one that had witnessed many of his nights spent in contemplation and solitude. A half-empty glass stood before him, but his thoughts were far from this place. It had been two years since he had left London, and the pain that had clung to him all this time seemed unending. The travels he embarked on were his attempt to escape — from home, from memories, and most of all, from her. But no matter where he went, he couldn't outrun himself.

He had lost so much: hopes, dreams, and, most importantly, his faith in himself. The loss of his twins, his children, had torn him apart. He still felt that sharp pain, as if something inside his heart had been ripped out by the roots. And then there was her letter — cold and formal, like a verdict. Penelope asked for an annulment of their marriage, and that became the final blow. Colin remembered how long he hesitated to even open that envelope, afraid to read what would shatter him completely.

These years had been challenging but necessary for him. Traveling through various countries and cities helped him find himself again, and during this time, he had changed significantly. Outwardly, he had become stronger, more resilient, and mature. But the inner changes were even more profound. He had grown spiritually, becoming more independent and self-sufficient. Recently, Colin had published his first book, but despite all his successes, the pain of what he had been through hadn't disappeared. It had become a part of him — quiet but ever-present.

Penelope's letter was something he always carried with him, along with all her previous letters. They were his constant companions, almost like talismans that he kept despite the pain they brought. He often reread them, trying to find solace in the familiar lines, but even when he didn't read them, just knowing they were there gave him comfort. It was as if a piece of Penelope was still with him. Colin knew every curve of her handwriting, every small mistake she might have made intentionally. These weren't just letters — they were the last threads connecting him to what he had lost.

Sometimes he would take out the annulment papers, unfold them, and simply stare at them, feeling his heart tighten with pain. He remembered the day he received that letter. From that moment on, Colin knew he was losing her for good. Everything they had been through together seemed to crumble into dust. He reread her cold words over and over, hoping to find some hint of regret or doubt, but the text remained unchanged. That paper had become a symbol not only of the end of their marriage but of lost friendship, family, and everything he had once valued.

As his thoughts carried him back to the past, he recalled the first time he met Penelope. The Bridgerton household was lively that day: Violet was expecting a baby, and the house was filled with anticipation and joy.

Colin remembered waking up to the sound of laughter echoing through the corridor. He quickly got up, threw on his robe, and headed toward the dining room, where his father, Edmund, was quietly plotting another prank with Anthony, preparing some mischief for Benedict. Their home was always full of jokes and laughter, and Colin couldn't imagine a better place to live.

But that day felt different. Eloise appeared in the doorway of the dining room, followed by a small girl in a bright yellow dress. She looked like a ray of sunshine that had found its way into their home. She had red curls and large, curious eyes. Colin thought she resembled a sunflower, turning toward the sun, full of life and light.