Reflections of the choices

Chapter twenty seven

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Disclaimer:

It hurts. I know. I'm sorry. 

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"It's obvious you're meant for me

Every piece of you it just fits perfectly

Every second, every thought, I'm in so deep

But I'll never show it on my face"

"Secret Love Song" by Little Mix

Penelope sat in her study, surrounded by dim light and silence. The air smelled of old books and fresh ink, but the cozy atmosphere could not distract her from her heavy thoughts. The piece of paper in front of her remained blank, as did her heart. Her mind drifted between the present and the past, taking her back to that morning when she saw blood on the sheets. Fear gripped her as she realized she had lost again. She remembered Colin, his face full of compassion—the look that was unbearable. She wished he didn't know, hadn't seen her in that state.

Rae entered the room, carrying a tray with sandwiches. She carefully set it down beside her, as if unwilling to disturb the quiet. "You need to eat," she said, but Penelope couldn't find the strength to reply. "Thank you, Rae," was all that lingered in her mind. She didn't need food. Recent days had blended into one: endless exhaustion and depression. Only in sleep, when the world around her grew silent, did the pain fade, if only for a few hours.

Rae watched her mistress with worry, feeling the room fill with hopelessness. She felt helpless, and it gnawed at her. A resolution was growing within her. She knew that Colin had to learn the truth about George and Marina. It had been her idea to suggest the children and Colin visit Marina. Mr. Crane had left in the morning, and he hadn't asked her to relay anything to Colin. But she knew she could no longer stand idly by. All these secrets were taking a toll on Penelope's health, and she worried for her. Her plan had succeeded—now Colin knew part of the truth, and he had stayed. Now it was time to reveal another secret to him. Layer by layer, Rae planned to uncover these secrets, hoping that Colin would understand and not flee.

She orchestrated conversations among the servants, hoping that their whispers would reach Mr. Bridgerton. None of them would dare to speak the truth openly, but Rae believed that a hint would catch his attention. One day, with a sly smile, she asked one of the maids to change the linens in her mistress's room, implying that Penelope's cycle had resumed. She wanted them to discuss how hard it was to see the bloodstains on the sheets, reminding them of the recent loss.

It worked. By morning, talk swirled about how Mrs. Crane desperately wanted children and had already lost two. Rae, pleased with her scheme, knew this was only the beginning. Now she needed to ensure that Colin heard these conversations too.

She devised a plan, using the children as an unintentional tool. Early in the morning, she discreetly took Oliver's favorite toy and left it on the staircase near the kitchen. The children often ran around the house, so it was quite likely one of them would leave a toy there. When Oliver started looking for his toy and threw a tantrum, Rae, feigning nonchalance, suggested that he might have left it somewhere near the kitchen, as he often did before.

Colin, eager to calm the crying child, felt a sudden impulse. He got up and headed for the kitchen, knowing that even a simple gesture could distract Oliver from his distress. As Rae watched him, her heart raced with anticipation. She knew everything was in her hands now.

As Colin descended the stairs, pondering what was happening in the house, he didn't suspect that he was about to encounter not just a child's tears but conversations that would open his eyes to a reality he had been avoiding. With every step he took towards the kitchen, Rae silently hoped that today would be the day the truth finally came out. He quickly found the toy and was about to return when he overheard the servants' conversation. On an ordinary day, he wouldn't have cared much about what they were discussing, but he heard Penelope's name and froze.