Two Tickets, Please

33: crumbling

Nila stretched her arm up and climbed down the stairs. She could smell incense and camphor from the puja room and the sound of bells as her father prayed. She yawned and beelined for the dining room, sneaking up behind her mother and finding out what was for breakfast. "Idiyappam?" she asked excitedly, making her mother jump and turn around.

"Don't surprise me like that!" she told, ladle in hand. "Thank God you woke up by yourself. I was just planning on coming upstairs to wake you up."

"I was hungry," she said sheepishly. "Is it ready? Can I have it?"

Her mother smiled. "Wait for two minutes. Do you want your coffee?"

"Yes," she said, seating herself on the dining seat. Her father emerged out of the puja room and looked at her surprised.

"How come you're up early?"

"Why is everyone asking me that question? I can wake up early, you know," Nila said. Nila's father ruffled her hair before seating himself across her. Her mother gave their coffees and went back to stirring the curry.

"Only yesterday your mother and I were worried you were not acting normally. You seemed down and you always seemed to be sleeping in your room. We asked your sister to talk to you and find out what was happening since you wouldn't tell us. I'm glad you're okay now," her father said, sipping his coffee.

Nila knew that they were worried. That was the reason she forced herself to be up and about this early in the morning during holidays. And she also knew that her parents wouldn't be able to see through her act that she'd been perfecting for years together. They wouldn't doubt a thing if she was a perfect little daughter. They wouldn't even bother to ask her if she was okay. But the problem now was that they'd already contacted her sister. Nila had spoken to her sister just two days back and even though she nagged her about why her voice was so low, Nila hadn't betrayed anything. Now her parents had gone and confirmed her sister's suspicions.

And Kayal was fierce when she set her mind to something. She'd pry information from her if it was the last thing she did. Nila felt nervous. Suddenly, the coffee tasted bitter.

"I'm okay. I was just sleepy after so many days of internship. I think I needed a week to catch up," she said. "I'm feeling good. I'm back to normal. I'm sorry I made you guys worry."

Nila returned a forced smile for her parents.

"You mentioned you have to compile reports for your internship. Have you started it?" her father asked.

"I will be starting it today."

"Finish it early so that you have time to revise it and improve it. Your sister never wasted a single day of her vacation. She'd immediately start her projects or go over next year's syllabus. She was always keeping herself busy and that's why she's at a top company which grants her more than 6 months of paid maternity leave."

Nila glanced at her mug. "Yes, I'll keep that in mind, Pa."

Whenever her parents began making these kinds of remarks in the past one week, Nila thought of Vijay and imagined how angry he'd be if he heard anyone treat her this way. And she wanted to cry each time. It was strange because Nila had been hearing the same thing all her life and she thought she had gotten used to it. But after Vijay, even a little bit of disrespect towards her hurt. It stirred up a storm of emotions in her. And that just showed her how for the first time in her life someone had treated her like she deserved to be.

She missed Vijay so much. She missed him every second.

And with each day in her house, she began second-guessing if she made the right decision. If she was capable of upholding that decision without sacrificing the piece of happiness she'd finally found. But it also felt unfair to go back on her words because she did it to protect Vijay. Never ever would she wish for him to be let down by her after leading him on. It was better to end their relationship when it was in the early stages.