"What's understood..don't gotta be explained. You know as well as I do, that you belong with me. Ain't no two ways about it." His eyes never left mine as he spoke, they only seemed to bore deeper into them.
I was fidgeting in my seat, wishing desper...
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"i thought that you knew, so lost without you And you're the reason, said you're the reason"
I sat on the couch, my phone buzzing again, Jade's name lighting up the screen. She didn't push, didn't ask for more than I could give, and that's exactly why I was sittin' here, staring at her message like it was a lifeline. With her, things always felt easy, natural.
I took a breath and picked up the phone, hitting call instead of texting. It rang twice before her voice filled the line—soft, familiar, and real in a way that cut through all the noise in my head.
"Hey," she said, just that one word already calming me down.
"What's up, ma?" I replied, my voice low, more relaxed than I expected. She had that way of making me feel like everything else could fall away, even if just for a minute.
"Just got back from the gym. You alright, Papa?" Her voice had that steady warmth, the kind that let me know she was really listening.
I paused, looking out at the city, the lights flickering in the distance. "Nah, not really. Been thinkin' too much about where I came from. The streets."
There was a moment of silence on her end, but I could feel her presence, like she was right here next to me. "You wanna talk about it?" She wasn't pushing, but her voice had this weight to it, making me want to keep going.
"I don't know. Feels like no matter how far I get, I'm still stuck there. Like I can't shake 14th off me, you feel me?"
She stayed quiet for a second, but I knew she was right there with me. "You don't have to escape it. It's part of who you are."
Her words hit deeper than I expected. She didn't even know the half of it, but she was right. I'd been trying to outrun 14th for so long, but maybe I was running from myself too.
"Yeah, but it ain't all good memories. I lost too much there," I said, feeling my voice tighten. "My boy JC... he almost didn't make it. Right there in my arms, blood everywhere. You think I can just shake that off?"
I heard her exhale, like she was trying to take in the weight of what I'd just said. "I can't imagine, but you don't have to carry that weight alone. Not with me." Her voice was steady, but there was this softness in it that comforted me.
It was like she was seeing all of me, the parts I kept hidden, the stuff I'd buried. And for the first time, it didn't feel so heavy.
"I know," I said, leaning back on the couch, the blunt still sitting in the ashtray next to me. "It's just hard. I ain't used to this, being real with someone. But you... you make me wanna try."
