Town of memories

Chapter 5

The wind had picked up slightly in comparision to the night before and I buried my face deeper into my scarf. The scarf my mother gave me. The memory kept replaying in my head like a significant piece of media you saw years ago and you're now searching for desperately in your head. I made my way to the park, which I always found to be a great place to just walk and don't think about anything at all. But it wasn't like that this time. No, she was in my head the entire time, like a claw around my brain.

As I walked through the streets to get back home I saw the café again. The one where I received the message. I contemplated going in for a moment but then got inside. A coffee and some cake might just soothe my nerves for now. As I seated myself into a corner and ordered my cup of coffee and a piece of chocolate cake I saw Christina sitting at a window seat. I waved, trying to get her attention and she actually looked up. And she immediately smiled.

"Hey, how are you?" she asked as soon as she was in hearing range. "I'm...holding up somehow" was the only thing I answered which earned me a worried look by Christina. "Do you want to talk about it?" she then asked me in a soft tone. I took a small sip of coffee and answered: "Yeah...but not here. There are too many people" She nodded and we ate our cake and drank the rest of our coffees and made our way out of the café.

We walked the same way through the park as I did earlier, our hands buried in our pockets. It was getting pretty chill and the sun hung lazily in the early evening sky. "So, I'm here, you can talk about everything you need to" Christina said suddenly as we were walking. I took a deep breath and braced myself for the emotions that would bubble up as soon as I started speaking.

"I can't stop thinking about her. No matter what I do, I just can't. It doesn't work and it makes me upset. It makes me upset how much I miss her and how much I need her. I love her so much, I feel like I can't live without her. I love her so much it makes me upset. God this is so stupid..."

Christina immediately shook her head and spoke: "No, this is not stupid. It's normal and it's human."

I sighed and continued speaking.
"My mother gave me this scarf here, remember? When I found it in my wardrobe again I immediately got thrown at with the memory of the day she gave it to me. Her smile as she saw mine. Our shared joy."

I had to stop speaking because I felt like I was going to suffocate on my words. Christina laid her arm around me and squeezed my shoulder. I could feel her compassion for me and I felt even more grateful to have her. She's always been there for me since the day we met. God I loved her so much, I didn't know what I would do without her.