Town of memories

Chapter 4

1 day without her.

I always used to visit my mother right after breakfast before going to work. We would talk for half an hour and sometimes drink a coffee together. But now I didn't have that anymore. A part from my daily routine got ripped out of its place and now I didn't know how to fill that gap. I ate my breakfast slowly, contemplating whether to go to work or not. I still felt this empty, heavy feeling weighing on my entire body, pulling me towards the earth's core. I didn't think I could do any work today with all these crushing thoughts in my mind. So I called my boss and as I thought, she understood. "My condolences Sonya, you can get through this" she said understandingly which I quietly thanked her for. But will I really be able to get through this? I have no idea.

Now that I didn't go to work I had even more time to think about what to do now. I sat on my couch, turned on the TV and watched some random shows that were currently running. My eyes picked up what happened but my brain didn't. Why couldn't I just stop thinking about her? No. No I couldn't think about it like that. That would be cruel. At least I felt like it would. Did everyone who has to go through the loss of someone feel like this?

I turned the TV off again and stood up. I quickly put on my shoes and jacket and even rummaged through my wardrobe to get my scarf. And the memory immediately hit me. I remembered the day my mother gave me this scarf. She knitted it herself and used different shades of my favourite colour, orange. As my fingers went over the soft material my vision suddenly blurred. I wrapped the scarf around my neck and inhaled the faint smell of my wardrobe. Nothing of her was left on it. Except the memory. And I realised that memories would become the most important and hurting part of my life in the future.