An FBI Archive

Chapter Twelve

"Cara is our rape crisis councillor" Nia blurted it out before she and Jill had even sat down in her office. 
"How did it feel, seeing her again?" 
"Shitty, like it always does" 
"Did it feel shitty or did you feel guilty?" 
"Both. I tired to be a good sister but when I came back it was just too hard to focus on anything but the nightmares. I tried to hide what I went through from her but she still ended up making rape her life" 
"But when you got back what you'd been through didn't pull the two of you together?"
"No, she was already ten. To me she was already grown up, older than I was when I was taken. She didn't need me" 
"Didn't she? You have have aged from eight to twenty five in a moment but Caroline didn't. She was still just a child, searching for this sister that her parents never let her forget, even for a second. You continued to protect your other sisters but why didn't you put the same effort into Caroline?" 
"Because she wasn't there" Nia sighed "She was safe at home, she wasn't in that hell hole. She didn't need protecting, she didn't need me" 
"Didn't she?" 
"No. I protected her by not telling her what had happened, by not letting her see what had happened" Jill made a face that Nia didn't like "What?" 
"I have a feeling that Caroline saw more than you think, that she heard the nightmares and read the news reports and that she chose to be a rape crisis councillor because she wanted to help people like her big sister who couldn't get over what happened to her" Nia scoffed rising to her feet before she yanked her shirt up over her stomach, showing Jill the scars and burns that lay there. 
"George liked to cut, Peter liked to burn. How am I supposed to forget that?" 
"No one is asking you to, but all that Caroline is looking for, is her sister. She wants the sister that you are with Jade, Leah and Nora. She wants the random phone calls just because you were thinking about each other, she wants to talk about work over dinner, she wants to know you" 
"Nobody wants that" 
"Leah, Nora, Jade, Caroline, your parents, your team, I'll bet anything that they want to know you. Even if it hurts a little bit" 
"So shall I tell them about the smell of my own burning skin? Or always being covered in my own blood that started to feel normal? I'm not a person that you or anyone else wants to know. Jade, Leah and Nora don't have a choice because they're just as fucked up as I am. And you? You'll lose your mind trying to understand mine"
"Why do you think Claire recommended me?" Nia shrugged "We went to college together, I used to read about what happened to you and the other girls. She recommended me because she knew I wouldn't be fazed by what I heard" 
"But you are. I can see it in your eyes" Nia sighed "I spent five years reading their behaviour, I know that it scares you to think these things happened to a child" 
"It doesn't scare me, it makes me sad for humanity" Nia nodded. 
"Thanks for being honest. Same time next week?" 
"Same time" Jill nodded "But, as homework I think that you should try talking to Caroline" 
"Your homework sucks" Jill laughed as Nia left her office. 

Nia headed into work, her mind going back to her room. 
"Good evening boys" Nia smiled from her doorway. She leant back against the frame, one knee bent as it sat against the frame, her shoulder dropped "Have you missed me?" She smiled brightly. Her sisters stood in the doorways to their own rooms, waiting for a man to pick them. Nia hated this. Putting herself out for them to abuse her how they wished but if they were focused on her then they wouldn't touch the others. 
"We've all missed you Lavinia, a girl with a name like silk" John smiled down at her. 
"Did you bring your belt?" He nodded, stoking a finger along her cheek "Let's go inside then" As Nia turned to let him move inside first she saw Simon heading down the hall to Lacie's room. She could only protect them so much. 
"Woah, you oaky there Sutton?" Elliot smiled down at her. She had collided with his wall of muscle without realizing because she was so stuck in the past. 
"I'm fi- I'm alright" She corrected herself with the answer she knew that he would accept. 
"You know you can talk to me right? I'm here for you, whatever you need"
"How about a drink tonight? At my place. I could talk to someone who isn't my therapist or my sisters" 
"I'll be there" He nodded "I'll even bring beer"  Nia managed a small smile. 
"Thanks Elliot. I appreciate it" 
"We all have rough days, some more than others and we could all use a friend to talk to" 
"Thank you" She smiled as she dumped her stuff on her desk. 
"Have you spoken to Caroline?" Nia sighed loudly which answered his question "We'll talk about it tonight" She nodded. Elliot moved back to his desk and the pair of them filled out their paperwork from their previous case, even though they found Heather they still had to track down the man that had her which was going to be a long tough road. 
"Have you called mom and dad?" Caroline appeared at her side an unimpressed look on her face.
"No, I haven't" Caroline sighed a thew down a piece of paper, both of their numbers written in her neat cursive. 
"Call them" Caroline bit. Nia reached out and took her wrist in her hand, her thumb stroking over her skin. 
"I'm sorry that I was a shitty sister to you" 
"It's fine, you have four others" She bit, snatching her wrist back before she walked away. Today was definitely going to be a shitty day.