Tightened My Grip | BakuDeku

Tears Fall

That night, the spring air was chilly and damp with sharp icy breezes that cut at their skin . It was pitch black as they walked through back alleys, occasionally lit up by street lamps. They were quiet, really quiet, enough so that the only sounds left were screeches from alley cats, the rattles of glass bottles, the wisp of the wind and a buzzing buzz off the lights the bugs were so attracted to. It was the longest walk in the shortest distance to the bus stop.

The whole way to UA, Izuku never lets go of the grip he has on Katsuki's sleeve.

Katsuki thought to fight him off, but oddly enough hadn't.

They slowly trudge into the dorm building feeling defeated by night's end.

That defeated feeling rips at Katsuki's throat. He was angry. Angry that this perfect day was ruined. Angry that for once his life he was genuinely scared of how weak he was, so much so that he wasn't sure if he could have protected himself tonight. Angry that he swore to himself not to ever make Izuku cry again and yet...

That really pissed Katsuki off most, it felt to him as if all that work was for nothing. They still ended up with that same uncomfortability that surrounded their friendship, swarming around it, and circling them in like a trap.

'I tried so hard to make him have a good time today and he still ended up crying.. Fuck this is so damn annoying! Ughhh I fucking hate this! Why is it that all I do is make him cry?'

He push the thought away, changing his stance on the outcome, 'Oh well, fuck it! I tried. I can't do more than this. I just ain't wired for it. If he wants more, then he can go somewhere else!'

"Get the hell off me!" Katsuki shouts as he pushes Izuku's arm off him.

Izuku let go but Katsuki could still feel the tremble on his shoulder like a mark left behind to bruise his ego.

"I don't need this, and I don't you! I could've protected myself! Why do ya keep jumping in when I never asked for it?!" Katsuki asks the question without expecting an answer, but he gets one.

Izuku's face that had been permanently pointed to the ground, swung up, striking a fierce infuriated look at Katsuki, "Are you kidding me!? You're angry cause I protected you? Kacchan, those men were attacking you three to one! YOU- you can't even use one of your arms! Your heart is- you didn't even know what their quirks could have been!"

"I'm getting so damn sick and tired of you treating me like I'm weak! I thought you- I thought you said I could do anything! Check that damn notebook of yours! What's it say under Kacchan Bakugou? I'm the best, right? So why are you clinging to me like if you let go, you'll lose me for good?" Katsuki's strained voice begs for an end to this fight.

"BECAUSE I COULD!" Izuku slams a fist against the wall causing a loud bang. It startles himself into tears as he continues in a low voice, "I already did.. lose you once.. and I can't- I can't do that again.."

Katsuki is shocked and hurt to hear Izuku mention it, he'd rather not acknowledge it happened, that he messed up Best Jeanist's quirk, that he fought and lost, that he died.

He felt so powerless, so useless, as he said these final words before stomping up the stairs to his room, "You couldn't save me then, so what makes you think you can save me now?"

The words pull and tear at Izuku's heart, slowly splitting it in two.

After the initial shock wears off, Izuku crawls to his own room.

He decides not to go to sleep, too afraid of his own dreams. Instead he writes down more notes in his notebook about the things he learned today.

Those last words Katsuki left him with keep replaying in his mind as he scribbles on the paper.