PROUD
You say that I'm wise,
Thoughtful
Kind
Smart
Humorous
Accepting,
But sometimes you tell me I'm
Selfish
Closed minded
A smart ass
Judgmental
Angry
Bitchy
Wasteful
Taking things for granted
And can't think of others.
This makes my stomach
Get thrown into a pit and double over
Like an unwanted dog,
Because I don't want to become
What you've come to hate.
For you to tell me that your proudness
Cycles down the winding pipes
Of the drain,
Makes me nervous that I'm not
Becoming the best person I can be,
That you'd rather have someone else
take my place
And make you proud for me,
Erasing the fact that
you loved me so much.
But now the venom from my actions
slams shoes, breaking wood
And lazy eyes and forged smiles
Making my skin reek with shame
That I failed to make you proud
And say:
"that's my daughter"
I'm sorry I already failed my mission in
15 Short years
But I'm trying,
Trying so fucking hard
To make you proud of what
I've become
Even though now it seems
That I'm just a freak
Forever unable to live up to your
Expectations.
