AMOR FATI (Love of fate)

Chapter 3 Heartbreak

I woke up late today, something that hasn't happened in a long time. Because of this, I missed going to breakfast at the Stewards' house. The rest of the day flew by quickly, and I ended up working overtime for the first time. I was actually glad about working late because it gave me an excuse to skip dinner with the Stewards.

My mind was racing with so many thoughts, especially about Chris and June. I felt overwhelmed and stuck. The idea of letting go of Chris and moving on seemed completely impossible, and I couldn't figure out how to handle those emotions.

After coming back home from eating out, I started thinking about how to spend the next two days since it was the weekend. Normally, I would spend most of my time at the Steward family's place. Without giving much thought about it, I ended up binge-watching the series Maxton Hall, and without realizing it, I fell asleep right there on the sofa.

The next morning, I woke up to the constant ringing of the doorbell. It was really irritating, and I was frustrated as I dragged myself out of bed to answer the door. To my surprise, when I opened it, I saw the driver from the Steward family standing there. He told me he was sent to pick me up and take me to their house. I told him I needed to get ready first and that I would meet him downstairs in the parking lot soon.

When I arrived at the house, Aunty and Uncle immediately started asking me lots of questions. They were curious about where I had been, but I managed to explain that I had actually been busy over the last two days. After chatting with them in the garden for a while, we headed inside to have breakfast. As we sat down at the table, I noticed that Chris wasn't there, which felt strange because he never misses breakfast unless something important comes up and he's needed elsewhere. Curious, I asked Aunty where Chris was. She explained that he had gone to Paris with his friends because he needed a break and needed to relax.

I quietly ate my breakfast, but I couldn't stop thinking about Chris's sudden trip with his friends. It was bothering me a lot. Finally, I gathered the courage to ask about it. I gently asked who he had gone with and if I knew any of them, trying my best not to make the situation uncomfortable for anyone. She told me that he went along with Ronan and his wife, June, as well as Alex and Alex's girlfriend. Trying not to make it too obvious, I nervously asked if Chris was seeing anyone. She replied that he might be dating someone, and that person could be June. However, she also added that she wasn't completely sure about it.

I felt really sad when I found out who Chris went on holiday with. But I didn't want to show my feelings, so I tried to distract myself by helping Auntie with the housework. Later, when we were having evening snacks with Auntie and Uncle, I shared what was on my mind. I told them that it might not be a good idea for me to come over every day, especially since Chris is in a relationship now. It wouldn't look right if his girlfriend saw me here so often. I also mentioned that I was okay with not visiting as much since I'm getting busier with work. Both uncle and aunt listened carefully to what I was saying. They tried to persuade me that my thoughts weren't right. However, when I spoke to them again with more seriousness and explained my feelings clearly, they realized I was serious about my decision. After that, they didn't pressure me to change my mind.

It was time for dinner, and I had made all the food myself because I thought it might be the last time, I would see everyone together like this. After we finished eating, I started getting ready to leave. Then uncle called the driver to take me home, but I told them not to worry about me. I said I was fine going on my own. Just before leaving, Aunty called me over to a quiet corner and suddenly asked me if I liked Chris. I was completely taken aback by her question. She also mentioned that she noticed how much I admire Chris. She could see the way I look at him and the special way I talk about him, showing just how much I care for him. My mind went blank, and I didn't know how to respond. I wasn't expecting her to ask me something like that, and it caught me off guard. I stood there in silence for a few minutes, feeling tears welling up in my eyes. After taking a moment to gather my thoughts, I managed to say that it didn't really matter if I liked him or not. I realized that he doesn't see me in that way, and he already has someone special in his heart and mind. After saying this, I turned and walked away.

I put in my earphones, and the first song that played from my favourite songs list was "Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely" by the Backstreet Boys. Unfortunately, I felt the tears I had been holding back start to fall. To make things even worse, it began to rain outside. I walked home while listening to the same song over and over again. The music made me feel all kinds of emotions, and it was hard to shake them off. When I finally got home, I took a long shower, enjoying the warm water as it relaxed me.

Later, when I tried to go to bed, I kept tossing and turning because I couldn't fall asleep. To help myself feel better, I listened to some sad breakup songs and ended up crying. At some point, I fell asleep without even realizing it. I had no idea what Sunday would bring.

They see me smiling, strong as stone,

But inside my heart, I feel so alone.

A silent scream, a desperate plea,

I wish for the world to pause and set me free.