Forbidden Knowledge Vol.1 (Marisa Kirisame X Male Reader)

Chapter 20 - Fading Spark

I sat in the darkness of my cramped shack, my body curled in on itself, knees to my chest. Every corner of the room felt like it was closing in on me, the walls warping and breathing with a life of their own. The voices—those damn voices—wouldn't stop. They echoed, overlapping, swirling in a chaotic storm inside my head, pushing me deeper into this feeling of worthlessness.

"You're alone." 

"Worthless." 

"Nothing."

My hands trembled uncontrollably as I tried to block them out, gripping my hair, but it didn't work. I couldn't escape. The Forbidden Tome lay open on the floor, its pages glowing with a sinister light, whispering commands that beat down on me like hammer blows. I could feel the pressure in my chest building, squeezing the life out of me.

There was a knock on the door.

At first, it sounded like it was everywhere. The knock reverberated in my head, coming from every corner of the room, making me flinch. My vision blurred as I tried to focus, my body feeling sluggish as if I was drowning in the air that was too thick to breathe.

Another knock.

Slowly, I dragged myself toward the door, each step feeling like I was walking through mud. The voices wouldn't stop hissing in my ears, ordering me to keep it together. My hand trembled as I slid the door open.

Marisa stood there, waving casually, her signature grin on her face. "Yo! Been a while; how have you been?"

I stared at her, my mind spinning, unable to form a coherent thought. Her voice seemed distant, as if she were speaking to me from miles away. The voices inside me screamed, clawing at my mind, ordering me to lie, to tell her everything was fine.

I glanced at the Forbidden Tome behind me, its dark aura pulsing. My mouth opened, and words came out—but they weren't mine. I couldn't stop them.

"I'm fine—nothing wrong here," I said, flat and robotic.

Marisa blinked, taken aback for a moment. She looked at me, really looked at me, and for a second, I saw concern flash in her eyes. She smiled anyway as if trying to brush it off. "Okay? Hey, I've been thinking of doing more of that bucket list. I was up all night thinking about how to top the festival. And I thought, man, how have I not taken you on a picnic yet?"

She laughed, but it sounded a little forced.

"I got this really nice sake and picked up some food from the village. There's this perfect little spot I know—you'd love it."

I wanted to say yes. I wanted to. I could feel the longing, the need to escape, to be with her, just to forget everything and go.

But the voices wouldn't let me. They hissed and snarled, twisting my words before I could even speak them.

"I'm not really interested in going out today. A picnic sounds boring."

The words were hollow, empty. But they hit Marisa harder than I expected. Her smile faltered for a moment, just a flicker of hurt before she quickly masked it with a laugh—a fake laugh.

"Yeah... yeah, pretty lame, actually," she stammered. "Who am I kidding? Picnic, pfft, please. Boring. Right... umm... Guess I'll just go then?"

She turned, her voice trailing off as she awkwardly waved and walked away.