The memories came again, fractured whispers. Promises and moments flash in and out, filling the silence around me. They felt like threads, weaving through my mind and holding me together—just barely.
"The library sounded like a tomb, cold and hollow."
"I'm not going to stand by and let that be the only thing you experience."
Marisa's voice, laughing as she stood beside me, shattering the stillness of the Library, filling it with something alive. And others, too—Reimu's determined grin, words from friends I hadn't realized I'd taken for granted, a whole world stitched together out of brief, burning memories.
"You've got people now. You've got us."
"I had a good time too."
"We'll work this out together."
"I don't think I can do this without you."
"I love you."
And then, silence. I felt it all tearing away from me, just like the last time, leaving only the suffocating emptiness.
*****
My vision returned in blurs and smears of colour, gradually coming into focus. I blinked, feeling a dull ache in my chest, and then I saw her: Marisa. She was standing just ahead of me, the colours of Gensokyo washed out and pale, the world around us darkened, splintered like a cracked mirror. She looked at me, her face worn and hollow, her expression a strange blend of pity and despair that clawed at something deep inside of me. She was barely holding herself together, taking deep, trembling breaths, and it felt like even her willpower was fading.
She opened her mouth, her voice a strained whisper. "Y/N, I—"
A surge of panic welled up, and I forced a laugh, the sound breaking and echoing into the empty silence. "Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked, my voice shaking as I tried to hold on to my grip on reality. "Is that... is that sympathy?" My laugh grew louder, a desperate attempt to fill the silence. "We did it, Marisa. We stopped him. Alexandria's gone." My voice broke as the words escaped me. "I'm free now. Right? I'm free?"
The last word came out strangled, the uncertainty crashing over me. But she didn't say anything; she just looked at me, the weight of her silence pressing down until I felt like I was suffocating.
She reached out, her hand shaking. "I'm... I'm sorry, Y/N," she whispered, her voice breaking.
I stepped back, her words like ice. She took a step toward me, and my pulse raced. "What are you apologizing for?" I asked, my voice rising in panic. "Are you actually believing what Alexandria said? That this is all... some dream? He's playing with us! Marisa, this can't be a dream!" I shook my head, clinging to her, to every thread of memory, every moment we'd shared. "You can't be a dream," I whispered, barely able to breathe. "You can't be, because if you are, if this is... then did any of it even mean anything?"
Her gaze softened, sadness pooling in her eyes as she looked at me. "Y/N... you know what's happening. You know the truth, don't you?" Her voice was so soft, and it felt like something broke inside me, leaving me raw and exposed. "If you stay here, if you cling to this dream—"
"I don't care!" I snapped, my voice sharp and desperate, cutting through the silence. The words burned as I forced them out. "I don't care if it's a dream, Marisa! I don't care if Alexandria escapes or if this place falls apart!" I saw her flinch, her face twisting in hurt, but I couldn't stop. "None of it matters if I can just be here. With you."
YOU ARE READING
Forbidden Knowledge Vol.1 (Marisa Kirisame X Male Reader)
FanfictionY/N awoke centuries ago in the endless corridors of the Lost Library of Alexandria, a mystical archive that houses every book ever written and those yet to be. As the Last Librarian, his purpose is clear: protect the library's secrets, especially th...
