Forbidden Knowledge Vol.1 (Marisa Kirisame X Male Reader)

Chapter 21 - Life Had Passed Me By

Marisa never came back.

After that day, I never saw her again. I never reached out, and neither did she. Reimu... I didn't try to contact her either. It was like the world moved on without me, leaving me behind in the dust. Life just continued as if nothing had happened, as if I had never been a part of it. There were times I wondered what would have happened if I made an effort, if I'd gone after Marisa that day or reached out to Reimu, but those thoughts were fleeting. The years that followed drowned those doubts in silence, the pull of the tomes smothering everything else.

Time blurred. One year bled into the next, and nothing changed. Nothing meaningful, anyway. I existed, but that's all it was. Existing. My days were spent under the weight of the Forbidden Tome of Joy, clutching it close because it was the only thing that gave me any semblance of peace. It had become my only companion, the only thing that felt like it meant something, even as it gnawed at my sanity. The world around me? That was a blur—just noise in the background.

The village had changed in ways I could barely comprehend: new faces, new buildings, new life. Yet I stayed the same. Even after I had "escaped" the library, it never indeed left me. It followed me, wrapped itself around my life, and I never felt more isolated than I did now, surrounded by people yet entirely removed from them. I didn't belong anymore if I ever did.

Were the other tomes still out there? Had they been found? Did it even matter anymore?

The thought crossed my mind as I wandered through the village late one evening, the tome clutched tightly against my chest like a lifeline. The sun had long set, the fading twilight casting a gloomy, indifferent glow over the streets. I stopped in front of the Kirisame Shop, staring at it without any real purpose, just feeling... nothing.

It had been abandoned for over a year, ever since Marisa's father had passed away. I wasn't even sure if she'd been there when it happened if she had stayed by his side or drifted away like I had. The shop was closed, boarded up with a sign that hadn't been touched in months. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered.

I turned away, beginning to walk once more. The villagers would glance at me as I passed, some brave enough to nod or say hello, but their expressions always shifted. Fear, disgust, something in between—it didn't matter. They avoided me like the plague, retreating into their homes or disappearing around corners. I knew why. The tome's presence was overwhelming, dark and suffocating.

It had been like this for so long that I couldn't even remember the last time I had a real conversation with anyone. The last time I actually spoke to someone, when I wasn't just muttering to myself or answering the voices in my head. Life had simply passed me by.

As I walked, something soft brushed against my foot. I looked down to see a newspaper blown by the wind. I crouched down, picking it up out of curiosity. The headline was about another festival—a celebration of the new season, no different from the ones they'd held before. On the front page were Marisa and Reimu, smiling and pushing for the festival to bring the community together.

I barely remembered the last festival I went to. It felt like a lifetime ago. I was with Marisa, laughing and enjoying Gensokyo with her. We had so many plans, so many things we wanted to do together. What happened? What went wrong?

My eyes scanned the photo again, lingering on the smiles on their faces. The distance between me and them felt insurmountable. Even though they were right there, out in the world, living their lives, it was as if we existed in separate realities.

Life had passed me by.

The voices, always present, murmured their familiar refrain in the back of my mind. Drown in joy. The words rolled through me, curling around my thoughts.