Her Love Is Traumatic

Not A Dream??

Christine woke up the next morning feeling lightheaded. She blinked at the ceiling, the sunlight filtering through the curtains, casting soft patterns on the walls. The room was still and quiet, and she groaned as she tried to move, her head pounding from the remnants of last night’s drinking. She reached for the table beside her and found a glass of water and aspirin, gratefully taking both.

As she swallowed, the memories of the previous night were hazy at best. The last thing she clearly remembered was sitting at the bar, the familiar sting of alcohol dulling her senses. Everything after that was a blur, a mix of voices, faces, and emotions. And then... Alex. She thought she had seen him—dreamed of him. A dream so vivid it felt real, as though he had come back to her, comforting her, holding her the way he used to.

But no, it couldn’t have been real. Alex wasn’t here. He was gone, had been gone for years. She sighed deeply, her heart heavy with the weight of memories she had buried but never truly forgotten.

Her mind drifted back to the night of prom all those years ago. With a soft sigh, Christine rummaged through her purse, her fingers searching for the bracelet. When she found it, she gently pulled it out, holding it in her hands like a delicate artifact from another life. It was the bracelet Alex had given her that night—a small, simple thing, but it had meant the world to her.

She stared at it now, her fingers brushing against the smooth metal. The memory of Alex making her wear it flooded her mind. The intensity with which he had looked at her, his deep blue eyes filled with something she had only understood later—love. His presence back then had been her comfort, his steady hands, the way he calmed her racing heart just by being near. She had felt safe, cherished even. How could she have let it all slip away?

Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes as the memory overwhelmed her. She quickly wiped them away and stuffed the bracelet back into her purse. It’s no use thinking about all this now, she thought bitterly. Alex was long gone. There was no way he still cared about her.

She stood up, trying to shake off the emotions swirling inside her. They hadn’t seen each other in years. So much had changed since that night. Christine wasn’t even sure she was the same person anymore. She felt... hollow, most days. As if she was just going through the motions of life without really living. She couldn’t blame anyone but herself. Lara, she thought. Lara had ruined her life, twisting her mind, suffocating her with guilt and shame.

But even in her dull, colorless world, the thoughts of Alex were a bright spot. The memories of their time together, even fleeting ones, were a balm to her broken heart. What if one day I could see him again? Christine thought to herself as she wandered into the kitchen, her mind slipping into a daydream. Would he still care about me? Would he still look at me like I was the most beautiful sight in the world?

She shook her head. No. No, of course not. So much had happened. So much had changed. She wasn’t that girl anymore. How could he love her now? After all that had happened with Lara—after the way her life had spiraled out of control—why would he love someone as broken as her? I’m not worthy of love. Maybe Lara’s right. Maybe I’m incapable of loving anyone...

Christine’s thoughts grew darker, her heart heavy with doubt and self-loathing. She missed Alex terribly. If only he had been there, things would have been different. Life wouldn’t have turned out like this. She wouldn’t be this fragile, broken person, constantly trying to piece herself back together.

Her feet carried her automatically toward the kitchen, her mind still wandering through the "what-ifs" of her life. What if she saw him one day? At a mall? Or maybe a restaurant? How would she react? Would she ignore him? Get angry? Demand an explanation for why he had disappeared so suddenly from her life? These questions tugged at her, making her chest tighten with unresolved feelings.

Absent-mindedly, she opened the fridge, pulling out a bottle of water, whispering, “Mornin’, Rob,” assuming her friend had stayed the night to check on her. She was too deep in her thoughts to notice anything strange as she fumbled with the bottle’s lid.

But then, she turned around.

The water bottle slipped from her grasp, hitting the floor with a dull thud as her breath caught in her throat.

There, standing in front of her, smiling softly, was Alex.

Christine’s eyes widened in disbelief. It can’t be real, she thought frantically, her heart pounding in her chest. She blinked rapidly, rubbed her eyes, even pinched her arm, trying to force herself out of what surely had to be another dream.

But Alex didn’t disappear. He didn’t fade away like the figments of her imagination always did. He was real. He was standing right there, in front of her.

“Morning, babygirl,” Alex said, his voice warm, full of that familiar affection she hadn’t heard in years.

Before she could even think, Christine rushed forward, colliding with him, her arms wrapping tightly around his body. She clung to him as though he might vanish if she let go, her fingers gripping the fabric of his shirt. The feel of him, solid and real, against her made her breath hitch, and a wave of emotions she couldn’t control washed over her.

She buried her face in his chest, tears spilling from her eyes uncontrollably as all the pain, the confusion, the fear—everything—melted away in his presence. In his arms, she finally felt safe. She finally felt whole.

Alex hugged her back, holding her just as tightly, his own emotions threatening to overwhelm him. He kissed the top of her head gently, as if to reassure her that he was really there, that this moment was real.

“Alex,” she whispered, her voice shaky.

“Hmmm?” he mumbled softly, resting his chin on her head.

“Alex,” she repeated, her voice a little stronger this time, but still muffled against his chest.

“Hmm?” Alex responded again, a smile tugging at his lips.

“Alex. You’re here, right? You came back... for me?” Christine’s voice was small, fragile, almost childlike.

“Yes, Chris,” Alex said softly, pulling back just enough to look into her tear-filled eyes. “I’m here. I’m back. Only for you. Everything’s going to be fine.”

For a moment, Christine felt relief wash over her. Alex was here. She wasn’t alone anymore. With him by her side, maybe—just maybe—she could be happy again.

But then, out of nowhere, Lara’s voice echoed in her mind: "You’re not capable of loving anyone, Kay. No one loves you."

Christine froze, the warmth of the moment shattered by the icy grip of doubt. She took a small step back, pulling herself out of Alex’s embrace.

No, she thought. I can’t do this. I can’t do this to Alex. He deserved better. He deserved someone whole, someone who wasn’t as broken as she was.

“I... I can’t,” she whispered, her voice trembling as she avoided his eyes.

Alex frowned, confusion and concern etching across his face. "Chris... what’s wrong?" he asked gently, reaching for her hand, but she pulled away.

“You deserve better, Alex,” she said, her heart breaking with every word. “I can’t... I can’t do this to you.”