Her Love Is Traumatic

Beneath the Surface

Lara lay still in her bed, eyes closed, pretending to sleep. She could hear Christine and her friends giggling outside the dorm room door, the sound of their keys fumbling in the lock, followed by the soft thud of the door closing. She felt the familiar pang of jealousy stab at her chest. Christine had been spending more and more time with that obnoxious Kate and some new girl, Rosemarie.

Why her? Why Kate? Why not me?

Lara clenched her fists under the blanket, struggling to keep her breathing steady so Christine wouldn’t notice she was awake. She couldn’t let Christine hate her, not after everything they’d been through. She needed to find a way back in—back into Christine’s life, back into her heart.

Maybe if I can get along with her friends, she thought, biting her lip. Maybe then she’ll stop pulling away.

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The next morning, Lara decided to change her approach. She put on a bright smile, acting as if everything was perfectly normal, like nothing had happened between her and Christine. As she walked over to Christine’s side of the dorm room, she gave her a casual, friendly smile.

“Hey, good morning! You were out late last night,” Lara said lightly, careful to keep any hint of suspicion out of her voice.

Christine looked up, surprised by the sudden shift in Lara’s attitude. “Yeah, I was with Kate and Rose. We went out to dinner. It was fun.”

Lara’s stomach twisted at the mention of Kate, but she kept her smile plastered on. “That sounds nice! Rose seems sweet. I think she’s in one of my classes, actually. Maybe we can all hang out sometime?”

Christine nodded, seemingly relieved by Lara’s change in tone. “Yeah, sure. I think you’d really like her.”

I bet I would, Lara thought, though her mind was already working on the next step. Rose was new, fragile, and clearly looking for connections. Befriending her wouldn’t be too difficult. And Kate...well, Lara could handle her too if it meant getting closer to Christine again.

Over the next few days, Lara made her move. She made it a point to sit near Rose in class, striking up casual conversations about their shared classes and offering to study together. Slowly but surely, Rose began to warm up to her.

They were dorm neighbors, after all, so it wasn’t hard for Lara to be around her at convenient times. When Rose would mention Christine, Lara would nod and smile, carefully crafting her responses to seem supportive. Inside, however, she was scheming—knowing that if she became close with Rose, Christine would have no choice but to pull her back into the fold.

The hardest part was Kate. Lara hated everything about her—the way she talked, her confidence, and especially how she made Christine laugh so easily. But she needed to play nice, for Christine’s sake. So she swallowed her pride and put on her best act.

At lunch one afternoon, Lara finally joined Christine, Rose, and Kate at their table. “Mind if I sit here?” she asked, flashing a bright, almost too-perfect smile. Kate gave her a look, clearly unimpressed, but nodded nonetheless.

As they chatted, Lara made a show of agreeing with Kate’s opinions, laughing at her jokes even though they grated on her nerves.

“I have to say, Kate, you’ve got some interesting perspectives,” Lara said, forcing a grin. “I’m impressed.”

Kate smirked. “Don’t sound so surprised. I’m a law student, remember? Debating is my thing.”

A week later, the group decided to go out together for a movie and a day at the local adventure park. To Christine’s surprise, things seemed to be going smoothly. Lara was acting cool, even joking around with Kate, and Rose seemed genuinely happy to be part of the group.

At the adventure park, they all laughed together as they raced each other on go-karts, screamed their heads off on the roller coasters, and dared each other to try the scariest rides. Christine felt lighter, happier. Maybe things were finally settling down.

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Lara, however, was biding her time. She watched closely as Christine praised Kate’s intelligence during one of their conversations. The two of them were discussing politics—Christine was fascinated by Marx and communism, while Kate took a more critical approach, emphasizing the flaws in ideologies and systems. They debated like old friends, throwing in jokes about philosophers to keep the conversation light.

“Come on, Kate, Marx wasn’t all bad,” Christine laughed, her eyes sparkling with amusement.

Kate grinned, leaning back in her chair. “I mean, sure, if you like the idea of completely dismantling the economy. But hey, who doesn’t want to live in a world where we all share everything?”

Christine laughed again. “Well, it’s not like capitalism is perfect either. It’s got its own problems—inequality, exploitation…”

Kate nodded, her expression serious for a moment. “True. But if I have to choose between Marx and capitalism, I’ll take capitalism with a side of reform any day.”

Christine raised an eyebrow, clearly enjoying the back-and-forth. “You’re too pragmatic.”

“And you’re too idealistic,” Kate shot back, grinning. “That’s why we make such a good pair.”

Christine laughed, and it was clear that she genuinely admired Kate’s intellect. “You’re seriously smart, you know that?”

Lara’s jaw clenched at the praise, but she forced a smile. Inside, however, she was seething. She couldn’t stand the way Christine looked at Kate—as if Kate was somehow better than her. It wasn’t acceptable.

Lara tried to calm herself, reminding herself that she was doing this for Christine. She just had to hold on a little longer, play nice, and eventually things would go back to the way they were.

But deep down, the darkness inside her was growing, a cold rage simmering beneath her carefully composed exterior. Kate might be smart, Lara thought, but she’ll never understand Christine the way I do.

And she was determined to make sure of that.