Are so called love ?- (A zaynmalik & meganfox dirty love story) (IN EDITING)

In her eyes

I really wanted to talk to megan , look her in the face an all . But if she could just stop crying for a minutes .

Self harm was not the answer to her problems .

With the guilt building a knot in my stomach and all the emotions was just really over whelming , i didnt want to cry .

I had to break the mystery and lift her sleeve up . I took 2 deep breaths and gulped before i pulled it back .

I got on my knee's and I slowly peeled it up closing my eyes shut till the whole sleeve was up .

I took one last deep breath and slowly let it out and all these thoughts were running threw my head before i opened my eyes .

The moment came .... i slowly opened my eyes .

And honestly , i just couldnt do this anymore .

I really didnt want megan anymore .. Nothing to do with her . Not because i didnt love her , cause i did .

Because she kept lieing to me , she was holding everything back all the time and would never say anything to me . She kept always faking smiles like she was happy when she wasnt . She put an illusion over my mind and made me think she was truely happy with herself , when she wasnt .

And this was the ending result to it all .

because she constantly never said anything . It was her fuckng fault for not speaking up !

No , what am i saying , it was my fault .

' Look at what i was doing to her .' I said to myself

she was loosing so much blood . it was scary .

I had no opition but to look her in the face .

It was going to hurt so bad , but i had to , i own her atleast that much .

once again i took another breath .

I got up off my knee's and man up .

I looked her dead in her face , i had to .

Her chin was quivering , Her eyes swallon and puffy and shining from all the tears. It was this werid thing , i couldnt stop staring at her i know i was probable making her extremely uncomfortable .

' Megan , Im not worth it ' I blurted , i didnt even mean to say that but it just kind of slipped out .

She tried to talk but her voice was to shakey and i could barely understand what she was saying . She kept attempting to talk but she kept crying .

My eyes started to swell with tears .... it made me feel weak at the knee's . I hated seeing her cry so hard .

' I - I - I - ca - cant ' she tried to speak it made but i hated to see her struggle , so i cut her off and just kissed her . Nicole was going to kill me but  i didnt care .

Things got intense pretty quick . Next thing i knew i had her straddle up against the wall with her legs wrapped around my torso and my tongue wrestling in her mouth for dominance .

I dont know , how or why this was happening .

She broke the kiss for so strange reason . So i started to work my way down . I kissed her neck down to her collar bone . I was licking and sucking leaving a trails of hickies .

' Z-ayn S-Sto-' she moaned before even finshing her sentence , i knew she couldnt help herself much longer .

Her brain was neglecting the feeling , but her body was inviting it .

' O-oh fuck ! dont do this megan ' she said breathleesly . She started to breath heavily . Are bodies were extremely close that i could feel her breathing in and out .

' We cant .... do thi... O-oh my god ' she groaned . I slipped my tongue back in her mouth hoping she would shut up and let her body flow my lead but it only worked for a little bit .

' Zayn STOP IT NOW ! ' she said sturnly . ' You want this as bad as me ' i said , i knew she did .

I put my hands under her shirt and up her back but she pushed them back down .

' I dont want this at all ' she moaned . Great it was starting to work .

I bent down and started kissing her stomach ...... then i relize ... i had totally forgotten she was pregnet , it totally slipped my mind .

My whole desire to do it shifted .

' Your right we shouldnt ' i got of my knee's and akwardly stared at her .

We were both speechless .

Her hair was all flusterd and her eyes were full of lust ... she wanted to do it . But i couldnt anymore ... like i literally couldnt .... my thingy , wasnt feeling it anymore .

' Eh-uh .. yea ' she cleared her throat . ' Alright , you should clean those .... uhhhh ... cuts and clean your self up ' i said casually .

' Yea , dont want them to get infected ' she wiped the streaks of tears off her rosey red cheecks .

She walked up the stairs ahead of me .... god her bum was looking round and plump .

I was beat for the night . I just wanted to go to sleep .