Shadow of Resistance

Chapter Five

I arrive home and find Omar and my mother waiting for me to start the lesson. Every Saturday night she sits with us to revise what we took last week in the Quran and to help us understand and memorise a new part. She always gives us chocolate if we memorise well.

I go and sit beside them on the carpet and I start reciting what we took last week, but I make some mistakes cause I didn't spend enough time revising them during the week. "You have to revise this part as you didn't memorise it well, and next week you are going to recite it along with the part we will explain today. Okay?" she says.

I look at her and nod with the feeling of remorse filling me. I can see from her face that she was trying to hide her disappointment and support me. When Omar recited, he was flawless. I am glad that at least one of us was able to memorise well.

Mum gives Omar his chocolate and says "great work Omar I am proud of you". Then she looks at me smiling and says "I know you also did your best and I am sure you will recite it all well next week" and gives me my chocolate.

I don't really need the chocolate at this age and of course I am not memorising the Quran for it. I think mum knows this, but it is just a kind of sentimental thing and became like a habit.

She starts reading and explaining the new part, while I am trying to focus as much as I can.

After we finished, we went to watch the news together. I usually follow the news. I believe everyone has to know what is happening around him and especially here in Palestine we need to know if there are any dangerous events happening in our zone or if there are any new stupid laws made by Israel.

The three of us sit on the couch and mum turns on the TV and gets the channel. We are watching when my father enters and looks at what we are watching. He enters while the news show is displaying a video of Hamas's speech. I notice the anger popping out of his face when he sees a Hamas member speaking, I can see the storm coming.

He then looks at mum with furrowed brows and shouts "Why are you making them watch this?"and here it goes, the storm starts. "And what is wrong with that?" she replies.

"Yeah sure there is nothing wrong with you all watching Hamas, who are the main reason of the hell we are living in." he says while smiling sarcastically.

"Main reason?" She asks shockingly.

His face flushes an angry red as his voice rises, "Yes, the main reason. How many times do I have to tell you this to change your mind? All of the people that support them like you are just so naive. You never think of the consequences of what Hamas does. You get very pleased when Hamas gives a spicy speech warning Israel or when Hammas announces that they killed a member or two of the IDF. Then what happens? Hundreds or even thousands of us get killed and hundreds others get prisoned. And all of that for what? Because Hamas decided recklessly to kill one or two, so they kill and we pay the bill."

Then, his voice cracks, and he says softly, "I lost my parents and siblings because of them. All I want now is to live in peace, without anyone killing anyone."

Mom replies with a calm voice "There will never be peace as long as Palestine is occupied. Israel tries to convince us that they want peace and that Hamas are the peace haters. You think without Hamas we would have been living peacefully? Can't you the West Bank? Every day they occupy a new land, arrest new people, and assault people at Al Aqsa mosque which should be under international supervision. All of this is happening and there isn't Hamas there. How many times have we applied to go to the West Bank to visit Al Aqsa mosque and got rejected without giving any reason. Without Hamas, there wouldn't be Gaza. Israel would have occupied it, changed its name, and destroyed our heritage just as they did to the rest of Palestine. You lost your parents and siblings because of Israel, and the reason we are still alive is because of Hamas. We, the people who support Hamas, can see the consequences of Hamas's actions, but we can also see that the resistance is our single hope that we could live a normal life."

My father sighs and walks to their bedroom, clearly deep in thought about everything that was said. I can understand both of their perspectives. Dad loves us and wants to protect us from the tragedy that struck his family. He believes that without Hamas, Israel would leave us in peace. On the other hand, Mum thinks that the resistance is the only reason Gaza still exists. I believe I am younger than participating in this debate, and I don't feel the need to be swayed by either perspective at my age. For now, I'd rather observe and learn more before forming my own opinion.

"Go to your beds, it's time to sleep," Mum says as she turns off the TV.