Shadow of Resistance

Chapter Thirty Six

I am hiding behind a tree, holding the bag of bread, my legs are shaking, I'm barely standing. I hear the sound of the gunshots along with the screams of the people. I feel death is near when I see people falling dead on my right and on my left.

I can see elderly people running as fast as they can and crying for help. Children that are younger than 10 years on the floor breathing their last breath. I know that if I manage to survive from this, I will never forget what I am witnessing for the rest of my life.

I decided to close my eyes and wait for my death. Suddenly the screams stopped, and the sound of the gunshots disappeared. I open my eyes to see that everyone is on the floor either dead, or injured. I start hearing the sound of their footsteps coming from the back. I know they are moving in my direction but I don't think they can see me.

I feel a hand on my shoulder that makes me jump out of my skin. I look quickly to him, and I see a man with a kufiya hiding his face where I can only see his blue eyes. I also noticed that he is holding a weapon pointing it to the ground.

"Stay close, and I'll get you out of here," he says with a steady voice. "I'll cross the street to that building over there and cover you. All you have to do is to stick right behind me. Don't look anywhere else no matter what."

I nod and we begin to move towards the building, as soon as we leave the tree's cover he opens fire as did they. I do as he told me and move without looking in any other direction until I reach the building.

I can't believe that we actually made it. I lean my back to the wall of the building and while I am trying to catch my breath, I look beside me to see the man shot dead lying just a step away from me.

He was so close to making it. Just one more step, and he would have been here with me. But fate had other plans. His weapon slipped from his grasp, landing right at my feet as if it had made it without him.

Their footsteps running towards me jolts me from the shock of his death. This time, they know exactly where I am, coming intent on killing me. I stand frozen, paralyzed with fear. It feels like these are my final moments, and my heart is pounding so fiercely I'm sure it's about to burst from my chest. My life flashes before my eyes.

I remember everything as if it happened yesterday. I see the joyful days. At school with my friends, and our hangouts. I see the first time I am talking with Sarah, struggling to find words to say, the first time we hangout together racing with our bicycles, the first time I confessed my love to her at the beautiful sunset in the farm. I see myself on the boat with Youssef pulling the robe. I see my grandmother, her beautiful house, our gatherings and movie nights. I see myself with my siblings making our kites and watching them soar.

I also see the hard days. I see my mother, tears streaming down her face after losing her own mother and sister. I see my father dead on the floor, and the soldier laughing. I see my days in prison, and me being humiliated and assaulted in every possible way that left scars deeper than any physical wound. I see myself holding my mother's hand and singing together before she dies. I see the suffering and pain we experience in everyday we live during this genocide, the endless lines for water, the desperate trips to the bathroom, the days we tied rocks around our stomachs to dull the hunger.

I'm left with two choices: I can either run, hoping they won't catch me and kill me, or pick up the gun at my feet and fight back, even if it means almost certain death. My thoughts race, my siblings depending on me, needing me to protect them and to provide them with whatever I can. But if I run, I'd be no better than my father, who always chose the safer path. It's as if my parents' old fights are playing out in my mind after they're both gone. I can hear the soldiers' footsteps getting closer, and I know I only have seconds to decide either to run or resist.

Just then, a Palestine sunbird lands in front of me, its vibrant feathers contrasting with the bleakness around me. The bird seems impossibly out of place.

Or maybe it isn't?