Too Bad So Sad ~ Chapters 1-15 Available To Read Now ~

15 ~ Happier Than Ever

WARNING: THIS STORY TALKS ABOUT SUICIDE, DRUG USE, AND OTHER THEMES/ TOPICS THAT MAY TRIGGER OR BE SENSITIVE TO SOME READERS. IF YOU DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE READING THIS, I ADVISE YOU TO STOP READING. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

[This is a longer chapter, so enjoy :) ]

The morning after, Xoey woke up early in the morning out of habit. It was still dark out and everyone was still asleep. She checked her phone to see over a dozen notifications, mainly text messages from new outlets asking for a comment. Others were comments from TikTok, direct messages on Instagram, and friend requests from randos on Snapchat. She wrote it off as trolls or creepy randos. The direct messages on Instagram and TikTok were just brutal. Random people behind a screen called her every disgusting insult in the book. She exited out of TikTok and quietly deleted it, she was over it anyways. With her Instagram, she privated it and disabled comments. She didn't want to see it or hear it, she already had her mother verbally berating her, the last thing she wanted to hear or see was a random stranger on the internet doing the same thing.

She walked quietly to the bathroom and passed by the bathroom mirror when she caught a glimpse of herself. She stopped and took a few steps back to see her hair disheveled, a pimple appearing below her cheekbone, her puffy eyes and a bruise on her left arm just above her elbow. She looked in at her bruise in dismay.

"Oh god..." she whispered to herself. The tears built up in her eyes at the sight of her bruise. She already knew her relationship with her mother was toxic but this was a new height of toxicity. Quickly she composed herself and reached into her drawers to look for her primer, concealer, foundation and setting spray. Usually these tools would be used by a girl for either everyday use or in an attempt to hide a hickey. In Xoey's case, it was to hide a nasty bruise caused by her mother. After she had covered it up, anyone would still see a faint dark spot. For Xoey that would be enough to do the trick. Fall was coming so it would be easy for her to cover up with a cardigan or jacket.

When she got out of the bathroom, she snuck to the kitchen and saw the time, it was 5:45 am. Their maid ,Socorro, wasn't going to be in until 6 am. This meant Xoey could eat alone, this may seem insignificant to others but to her this was important. Alone for her meant, no nitpicking about what she ate or how she ate. She wouldn't have to eat this low calorie, low fat, low carb, low sodium, low sugar meal. Her mother had a chokehold on her diet, and when you're someone who was restricted from all the good food, inevitably you binge. The restricted diet made her relationship with food unhealthy, and the occasional binge would I guess in a way help relieve that stress.

She went back to her room, put on some sweat pants and a hoodie. Then she grabbed her purse and keys and drove to the nearest gas station. Upon pulling up to the gas station, she turned her car off and sat in her car for a minute. She knew what she was about to do would anger her mother to no end, but she didn't care. She had made her decision, so she got out her car and strolled through the aisles of junk food and soda. This was the equivalent of a candy store for her. Xoey could recall the gas station cashier kinda shooting her a weird look. To be fair, she admitted she was kind of acting weird because she legitimately couldn't decide what she wanted. Her mind had fluttered towards the beef jerky, then the powdered doughnuts, then to the Skittles. She started grabbing a Butterfinger, then she grabbed the powdered doughnuts, Goldfish, a family sized bag of Cheeto Puffs, and a 16oz Red Bull. This was Xoey's "girl dinner" (Old meme I know).

After getting her food, she drove back, and snuck back into the house into her room. The house was quiet, but that silence was broken by the sound of Xoey opening up the wrapper of her doughnuts and just going to town on them. This released dopamine in her brain making her not want to stop. She washed down her soft powdery doughnuts with her Red Bull, then she went to grab a handful of Cheeto Puffs. She stopped when her stomach started to ache, this was her body telling her she was full. She had never experienced the feeling of being full. In total the casualties were, a pack of six powdered doughnuts, a bag of Goldfish, a quarter of a Butterfinger, a 16oz of Red Bull, and half a family sized bag of Cheeto Puffs. For anyone who tracks their caloric intake, she took on roughly 2,771 calories or so, and according to the dietary guidelines a woman should eat anywhere from 1,600 to 2,400 calories a day, which she had exceeded in one sitting. But who gives a shit what the dietary guidelines say really?