Icy Break; Norenmin

RENJUN

His body was feeling the effects of his insane training schedule. He didn't have a day off. He doesn't know where he gets the strength to continue practicing each day. From the moment he woke up to the moment he slept he was expected to be practicing in some way. Others would perhaps say it was inhumane, but it needed to be done.

Others would practice on ice for around four hours a day and they'd engage in other forms of practice to strengthen and relax their bodies. Renjun isn't allowed to have off days. His form of body strengthening had been ballet, and instead of it being peaceful, it was a whole other sport he had to indulge in. He was good, and it made him better at figure skating, but it was exhausting.

He was beyond tired, and he was hungry.

His coaches claimed that he had gained a lot of weight and he needed to lose it all and more. It would be easier for him to successfully land his jumps the lighter he was he had been told.

Food had become a scarcity for him and he'd constantly feel lightheaded. He was barely allowed to drink water too since they didn't want him to have water weight. He was no doctor but surely they knew what was best for him. 

Renjun felt horrible, but he had to endure it.

One day he wouldn't be able to skate anymore and he'd be able to do what he pleased when that day came. He'd be able to go where he wanted, eat what he wanted, do what he wanted. He'd be free.

He had an expiration date and he was rapidly nearing it. He had to make his parents proud before that happened.

At one point in his life, Renjun really enjoyed figure skating. It made him happy. Others complimenting him made him happy. He was called a prodigy. Someone that only came around once in a century. A natural. A star. But those were simply labels. As he aged, more was expected from him. The better he did, the more he had to improve. He had to be better than perfect. He had to surpass all expectations.

He never had friends, but he had a multitude of medals, trophies, titles, and records to replace them. Friends would only hinder him from achieving his parents' dream. It used to be his dream as well at one point, but now it was his duty. A task he had to achieve to satisfy those around him.

He had missed out on having a school life, a social life, and a romantic life. He had missed out on living his life.

The internet said he romantically likes Jaemin, and he would like to do the things people in movies and dramas do when they like someone with Jaemin.

He'd like to hold hands with him and take a walk in the park. He'd like to go to a cafe with him and share a cake. He'd like to be hugged and told that he's pretty. Told that he's loved. That he's enough. Those around him criticize every detail about him. He wanted affection. He wanted love.

But that wouldn't happen.

He never knew what he was missing out on until he tasted a preview of what freedom was. He enjoyed watching TV and eating some of the foods he was forbidden from consuming. He enjoyed having someone care for him and invite him to do the things someone his age should be doing.

Renjun had never been romantically attracted to someone, so how could he be certain of his feelings towards the hockey player? Perhaps he liked the attention he was receiving or the idea of being loved by someone. He hadn't asked for this. He vividly remembers not being fond of Jaemin at first yet here he is dwelling on what they'd never be. He had also chosen to block Jaemin. He couldn't let someone he had recently met interfere with the plan that was set for him since he was young. Too much has been sacrificed for him to not do what was required of him.

"Renjun" His coach said, sounding displeased. It would be more surprising if they sounded happy. Happiness is an emotion that had died in the ice rink.

"You still need to lose five pounds. Are you not taking this seriously?"