𝐒𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐓

Chapter 55: Sanity

Celeste

The doctors and nurses have been checking on me for the past 'five minutes.' I've been up, and they noticed some blood running down my arm from the cords I pulled attached to my body.

They told me I had to calm down and drink as much water as possible after the adrenaline had washed away, all my weakness hit me in the ass, and I'm exhausted, Jesus, I'm so exhausted.

I want to sleep, but I don't feel like sleeping. I'm terrified that Damian will walk in any minute by now; the nurses and doctors must have called him about my awakening. Of course, they would; he's my husband and would be the first in contact. 

 I don't want to see him; I'm scared to see him; what will I feel when I feel him? What will he do when I see him-My gaze dart toward the door peaking open? I jerk in bed as the door slowly widens, and I breathe like I just ran a long marathon. I glared at the door, waiting for him to walk in.

But the door stands still, and my anxiety becomes worse. "Princesa..." I keep my sob from crawling up my throat, and I jerk to glare at my hands. All my confidence that was once there disappears into thin air. His voice sends so much fear and shivers across my skin; glaring down at my limp hands, I overhear his steps, getting closer and closer.

Feeling his stare burning through my skin, "Princesa I-"

"Get the fuck away," He tenses, stopping before me, and I shake as I slowly look up at him. Seeing his dark brown gaze soften as he views me.

Tears sting the back of my eyes as I meet the eyes of the man I loved, the man I gave my trust to, my heart, the man I trusted my life with.

All of it was gone.

"Princesa, listen." I fail to keep my whimper at bay, he kneels grasping for my hand, but I jerk away, "I'm so sorry, baby-"
"Don't you dare call me that!" I nearly jump on my knees from my rage. "Princesa-"
"GET AWAY FROM ME!" I jump from the bed, pulling the cords with me, nearly tripping over my feet. I dart toward the first thing I lay my eyes on.

A flower vase.

Grasping the vase, I throw it on the ground and grab the largest, sharpest piece of glass. "I'm here to take you home, Princesa. Please listen to me." I shove myself into the corner of the room as he slowly approaches me. "Get back!" Shoving the glass forward, he darts back before I can slice his arm with the sharp edge.

My eyes search for help—for anyone behind him, for Callum, Asher, or Davin. If he were here, he would kill Damian; I know he would. He wouldn't let any of this happen. He would have saved me.

Elias...where's Elias? I need him.

I blink away the forbidden tears, noticing the wet gaze in his eyes, "Princesa, please, I just want to take you home."
"I'd rather relive my death experience than go anywhere with you!" I snap, stepping forward-

I hiss at the glass hitting my feet, and he jerks toward me, grasping my free hand as if he cared about me getting hurt.

I growl, pushing my arms forward, but my weak self gets hurt instead of him; tears wash down his eyes as I whimper and slam my back against the corner; as if I were a little girl left in timeout, I break into tears, "You lied to me!"
"I did."
"You said I was safe!"
"I know!" He cried
"You told me you loved me!"
"I do love you!" he shouts again, pacing towards me. I cry to myself as I hide my face from him; I can't let him see how hurt I am.

How broken he left me, "You left me to die!" I screamed, not caring if the nurses or doctors could hear me; I was a mess, and I felt like an idiot. Our love was a lie, a complete fucking lie.

And I couldn't believe it because he was too good to be true. I ground my teeth together til the pain of my gums forced me to stop, "I wasn't going to let you die, I knew Elias was going to jump after you and save you, he was going to sacrifice himself for you!" He says, trying to cup my cheeks without touching me.

Shoving his hands away, I cupped my cheeks to wipe my own tears away. "And what if he didn't jump, huh?!" I growled, getting into his face. His gaze softened, and I tried forcing myself not to feel guilty for watching his tears run down his face.

Fuck no, Celeste, you are not feeling bad for this stupid piece of shit. "What would have happened then-"
"I would kill myself if you died, Celeste! I would rip my heart out and die beside you," I sob, blinking away the tears. "You would? Oh, you fucking would, huh! I called your name eight times!"

He pants heavier, "Eight fucking times. But all you did was stay silent and stare at me." I swallow the lump in my throat, ready to fall into bed, and hope I never wake up again. I should have died, I wish I fucking died.

"I waited for you like an idiot to tell me this secret, and you know damn well whatever it was, how fucked it was, I wouldn't have been able to stop loving you! And God, I hate you so much for it!"
"No, you don't-"
"I hate you so fucking much. I wish I could have killed you the day you gave me that reloaded gun!" He stills as I painted like a lunatic.

"Your not yourself right now-"

"I fucking am! I fucking hate you so fucking much for taking your bullshit. I was the one who cared about you. I was the one who stuck around even when everyone told me to leave. I was the one who loved you even when you gave me every reason not to. Lastly, I was the one who was there for you when no one else was!"

The words were like a knife to my chest; it felt like a part of me had been destroyed and shattered, "I was the one who would have died for you," and I almost did, multiple fucking times.

I glared at him as if he was my biggest enemy. He steps closer, officially closing the gap between us, and all I wanted to do was choke him. I swallow the lump in his throat, "I love you, Celeste, god, I fucking love you so much," I sarcastically smile to myself, "And I hope you rot in your bed while you sleep," I said through gritted teeth. I smile wide as my tears fall from my eyes.

"I hope you die; I hope the guilt itself kills you before I do." He blinks, and fear, pure terror, washes through his eyes as he steps back into the glass, but I don't stop and step forward till my bare feet dig into the glass.

"I will kill you." I say harshly as I glare into his soul, "And so help me God, if it's the last thing I'll do, I will die trying." His gaze fell to my bloody feet, but from how high my adrenaline was, I couldn't care less. He swallows harshly before his legs hit the mattress of the hospital bed.

"Princesa, listen to me." I stop before I'm and grip the shard tight. It cuts through my skin. "We will get through this together. You still love me; I know you do." I let him have his five-second hope, and I breathe in and blink away the tears, "I promise you I'll change; I'll do anything it takes to have you by my side. You don't mean any of what you just said" I do. But continue.

"I'm going to get you out of here, I promise." There are so many promises, but none he'll keep. I calm my breathing, but deep inside, I'm still raging. I look at him and release the shard before stepping closer. I force my gaze to soften, and I innocently swallow a fake lump in my throat, seeing his eyes soften as he realizes I'm claiming down and returning to my senses.

The worst part was that my heart fluttered like before every time I looked at him.

And I nod. I fucking nod. Before dropping my smile. "Fuck you" His gaze falters, and I step away before rushing toward the bathroom and slam the door shut behind me before collapsing onto my feet.

Fuck you, Damian Morana.
Fuck you for still making me fall for your eyes, fuck you for making me not hate you as much as I wish to for breaking my heart.

"This is how Villains are made." His words repeat through my head, and I hug my knees, wiping the tears from my eyes.
I feel my heart thump, and as I stand, I see the crazed and dilation of my eyes. And I question. Where did my sanity go?

I smile and draw a smile in the mirror with my blood. Does he want a chance? I'll give him a chance before I run to his brother's arms.