Divorced Hearts | THV

Mending hearts

Note from author: I was listening to the song Pal sung by Javed-Mohsin , Arijit Singh, Shreya Ghoshal, Kunaal Verma and Prashant Ingole while writing this chapter. It played on my Spotify shuffle out of the blue and made me realise how well the song goes with this chapter and the next one. So if you want you can play it in the background while reading this chapter. Makes it twice emotionally I think. Anw , enjoy reading 😁🫶

Y/n’s POV 

Hope . The one thing which I held onto dearly throughout my life had been snatched away from me . Not once , not twice; it was many a time . I couldn't comprehend which one to hold onto and wallow over , throughout the life I was living. A hope to have a family who would look at me beyond their benefits was perished and destroyed with a cold heart . My father was selfish and my mother wasn't expressive enough, following the lead of her husband to stick to her ‘perfect wife’ profile. 

A hope of having true friends turned out to be false once I lost them from beside me when I needed them the most. Whether it be during a sickness where I wished not to be lonely but my precious friends were busy living their lives, careless of my existence. Or when I was forced into a marriage even before I got the chance to spread my wings and take the flight of my life . None of my friends came forward to attend that lifeless marriage or tried to cheer me up when I was at my lowest . They just disappeared as if they never existed.

And then I hoped to build a home of my own with the man I had married. The man , whose gentle gestures made me trust in my silly hope for the first time. My hopes started building a castle of their own with the cards slowly put onto them one after the another . That's why this time when it crashed , it crashed the hardest. 

Now , inside the car as I sat in silence, trying to gather all of the truth which Taehyung laid bare in front of me, I felt a deep sorrow in my heart which I was trying not to acknowledge all this time. A big part of me questioned myself. Was I the one at fault for which every person beside me had pushed me away from themselves ? Was I the reason why my parents couldn't be affectionate towards me or my friends couldn't stay beside me ? Was I the reason why Taehyung could not trust me before ? Then why was he trusting me now ?

He had given me enough of his reasons to do what he did but I was still lost . Lost in the track of life where my every decision had sent a backlash towards me . What should I do now ? I understood Taehyung. I could never imagine what he had to face at an age when he was barely an adult. His life wasn't a fairytale either. Thinking of the situation, maybe my insecurities would lead me to run away from the relationship as well . Just like I did now , feeling too suffocated inside the car .

Once the freezing coldness of outside hit my skin , it also ignited the feeling of running away. I had this urgent need to let out all the questionable emotions that had risen inside of me after talking to Taehyung. And yet in the midst of this storm , he managed to cause hurt to rise the most , and clench my heart when he simply let me walk away …yet again , without even a blink of an eye . 

I didn't know what I was expecting from him when I myself wanted to run away. Now that the truth was out , there was a possibility of things becoming even more suffocating between us . We never got a chance to build our relationship perfectly… it was us learning about each other through observation rather than blending into the process. I would understand if he didn't wish to hold me back anymore after letting me go . Letting me go . That thought managed to twist my gut , stealing my breath away and making me take hasty steps inside my apartment.

As the distance grew between me and Taehyung, the feelings only turned sour. I thought it would give me the relief of finally crying out loud . But it only turned heavier, subduing its weight on my heart and causing my throat to enclose . It was getting harder to breathe when such a load was getting suppressed within me.  I unlocked the door to my own formed home and yet it felt so lifeless suddenly.