The first time i fell in love

time machine

I could sit here all day long and write about every single memory we had, from little things like calls, laughs, messages, visits, letters,songs, to big things like kisses, hugs, words, the day he sang to me till i fall asleep, the sunsets, the days, the conection we had between each other, the things we said, the sincerity, the butterflies he gave me everytime i heard his name, the jokes, the tears and every single day i fell for him during 1O months.

but i can't .. i can't because there are so many things yet in my head, even though 9 months had passed, i thought i finally got over him, but im not.

I miss him so much it hurts, i wish i was with him in this moment, i wish he never left, this felling is something i've never felt, i just want to watch him smiling, laughing, or just by seeing him there in front of me, his presence, his eyes, his smile, his lips, his way of being, his way of making me laugh, he always loved to saw me smiling and happy, he would do anything to see me like that, and that´s what i loved about him, even with stupid conversations, that were the ones that made me fall in love with him because i knew he was exactly the same as me, when i was with him i felt nothing else existed but me and him, those little moments that changed my life forever, they changed my way i look at life,and they made me understood that not every man it's the same, because now i've met someone that made me feel the happiest woman on the planet, with a simple hello how are you, he always wanted to know how was my day and he always woke me up with a sweet message, i wish i could feel i was the only one he was interested for , i wish i could turn back time so i could hear him telling me he loved being with me, i wish i was in his arms one more time, hugging him looking in his big green eyes, had another sunset with him, those thousands kisses and the butterflies i got, his look in me, the way he made me feel that he really cares about me, like i never felt before, its a hard thing to explain, i have no words to describe how he made me feel the happiest person.

i would travel miles and miles just to see him one more time, i would wait forever just to see him happy with me, because simply he made my life a thrill and something that i've had never felt in my heart, an ilusion, an emotion, a meaning of life , a reason to sleep, a reason to wake up, a reason to keep going everyday, that smile on his face and that sparkle in his eyes that i've never knew it was possible to see, he taught me things that i never knew it was possible to feel, i sometimes think its destiny who decided he will be in my life even for a little bit, because god sent me a a beautiful angel that changed my life and made me see things differently, and he taught me to take good things in life and oportunities too, he taugth me not to hurt the persons that i love, and always bringing out a smile to the peoples faces.

i love his hugs, his pettings, his kisses and more than everything the moments we had and that never will be able to go away from my heart, i will never forget everything that he made me feel and the perspective of love that he gave me, i miss him and its very difficult not to see him anymore, but im thankful with life that you came in to give me your joyfulness, your love and meeting a guy totally different from others, because i tought that kind of boys didn't exist anymore, but he came in and he proved otherwise.

he left me always waiting for more and more to the point in wich i fell hardly in love with him, because i knew he was one of those boys of wich no longer exist, of those who just by a look make you feel on the clouds, because i always fell something for him. 

now that he's gone its hard to explain or describe what i feel, i feel empty, alone, without a reazon to be happy, and even though i try not to think of him or hide what i feel , i simply cant stop thinking about him, i want him to come back i want to watch him smile, i want him to hug me, i want to feel that excitement again to now that i will be able to see him, i think it was the best experience of my life, he left my heart full of love.

its amazing how i can remember everything with every detail, he was someone that came into my life unexpectedly, he made me feel things i could never explain, but i guess that is what love feels like, all those lovely moments that i hope i can repeat theme one day. i loved him so much, like no one before, i want to see him soon thats all i want because the memories will always be in my heart and in my head.