Behind Her Eyes, Within Her Smile

CH. 2

Kamala looked down at her hands, confused by Willow's comment. Her hands had always been one of her insecurities. " Oh, stop it. Are you serious?" She continued looking at her fingers, trying to see whatever it was that Willow saw. "I think they're too veiny and long. Sometimes they look strong, even. I don't like them." She frowned.

"I'll make you love your hands... especially your fingers." Willow thought to herself.

The more Kamala fidgeted with her hands, caressing them, interlocking them and squeezing them, Willow mouth watered at the sight. She'd never known herself to be attracted to someone's hands. Kamala changed that. "They're attractive because of ALL those things, actually. I'll show you better than I can tell you." Willow was determined to change Kamala's mind.

The energy became one full of desire. They both knew what they wanted, but they enjoyed teasing one another with their words.

"You think you're slick, trying to change the conversation from your little group." Kamala wiggled her index finger, as she brought the conversation back to the subject at hand. " I wanna know what y'all be saying." She leaned forward in her seat, wide-eyed, brushing her fingers over Willow's thigh. "Come on, tell me. I know you want to."

It was hard not to give Kamala what she wanted, with eyes like hers. They were bright and full, bambi eyes. They pulled you in and made you surrender. They could undress you. It's how she showed you she was listening. She didn't need light to make them glisten.

"So, there's a group chat. We named it 'Kamala's Angels' ." Willow chuckled saying it outloud. It all felt so silly at the moment. " It all started when we googled you and ran across some of your pictures from back in the day, and to be honest those pictures made us think you were... into women. I, personally, said the energy was definitely giving you had a girlfriend at some point." Realization started to set in with Willow, with each word she spoke. " I can't believe I'm telling you all this right now." She chuckled, shamefully.

Kamala was intrigued by the accusations. " It looks like I'm into women? Is that the kind of energy I give off?"

"Respectfully, yes, that's why we were surprised the day you mentioned you had a hus-" Willow caught herself before finishing. She didn't want to make Kamala emotional by mentioning her husband. She felt it was still too soon.

"It's okay. I'm okay." Kamala reassured herself just as much as she reassured Willow. " Keep going."

" I think maybe it's the suits." Willow tried to put her finger on where this energy was coming from. " Most of the time we're conflicted because we don't know what we want more- you to dominate us or we dominate you. It's like you're so balanced, and comfortable, existing in your masculinity and femininity. "

"Why can't both of those things happen?" Kamala genuinely questioned.

" They could, but we don't know what we want more at times."

" I like when I cause people to feel conflicted. It's something about someone wanting you but not knowing exactly how they want you. Or wanting you and not being able to have you." Kamala ran her hand through her hair pushing it all towards the back. She sat back and released a meaningless sigh. " I say we finish this bottle. There's no reason it should still be this full." Kamala poured more into each of their cups.

They took a few sips in silence. Willow fiddled around with her small afro, trying to avoid eye-contact with Kamala because she knew she would cave in more than she already had. She was still grappling over the fact she had confessed her attraction to her professor.

What Kamala hadn't told Willow was the assumptions about her having a girlfriend back in the day were true. It wasn't anything she really hid back then either. She never cared to hide parts of herself, or give it too much thought about what others may think, she simply existed as she was. This time was different because she had never been involved with any of her students. She had her eye on Willow for a while, and always suspected that Willow had a crush on her. This was one of the main reasons she had invited Willow over for dinner.