Behind Her Eyes, Within Her Smile

CH.13

"When did you know you were interested in women?" It had been a question that was on my mind for a while; I just didn't know an appropriate time to ask it. We spoke about it -briefly- during our dinner the first night I came to her place, but it wasn't as in-depth as I wanted it to be.

She exhaled while she reminisced about her own gay awakening. As I sat between her legs, I could feel her hands caressing my scalp gently.

"Hmmm... it was back in college with my roommate." Her voice was full of pride. " She was brimming with joy and extremely spontaneous. I never knew what to expect out of her, and that excited me."

I looked back and caught her smiling at the memory. "I can tell you really liked this girl. Look at you smiling." I teased her a little. "Do y'all still talk?" I was curious to know where their relationship stood after all these years.

"No, we haven't spoken in a long time. I miss her a lot."

"Why?"

"After college we went our separate ways and lost touch. We left off on such a high note, so if I was to run across her again I'm sure we'd be back like we never left."

"I feel like you had a lot of women on you in college."  I confessed.

"Why do you feel like that?" She chuckled out her words.

"I don't know- maybe it's how you're acting these days. You like to have your cake and eat it too."

"I like to have my cake and eat it too." She repeated carefully like she was in deep thought about it. "Hmmm... I do like cake." She jokingly proclaimed.

"See, there you go deflecting." I pointed at her like there was a laser in my finger.

"No, but seriously I don't think I can help it. It's just how I am. I connect with people easily, you know that, but you're the only one on my mind right now, honey."

Her reassurance -when mentioning I was the only one on her mind- was stale in my ears. Kamala started to sound like all the useless men that were saying the exact same line to their partners; She didn't realize that two can play that game, and I never really backed down from a challenge. Although she wasn't a useless man, my statement still stands.

"What about you? When did you know you liked girls?"

"When you became my professor."  I was only partially joking. I didn't need to see her blushing because I could feel it. "I have always known, honestly. There were so many beautiful women on television when I was growing up; I fell in love with Auntie Wanda from the Bernie Mac Show."

"Oh, she's a good one!" Kamala gasped at my revelation. " That woman is so beautiful."

"Literally, I practically was watching the show just to see her at a certain point. Her dimples are what really did it for me every time."

We were sitting out on Kamala's patio enjoying one another's company; I was smoking a blunt because I earned it. I enjoyed moments like this with Kamala because it allowed me to get to know her more. She had an understanding or a deep knowledge about every topic that was thrown at her; It was admirable.

"So you've never smoked before?" I directed my question to Kamala and stared off into the field that was in front of us. 

"No I haven't." She immediately responded

" I think you should try it."

She didn't say anything for a while which made me believe she wasn't interested in trying it, and I wasn't going to continue bothering her about it.
"What kind of weed is it?" She -surprisedly- questioned.