A heart that's broken

Lifes changes

"Kookie shall we go out to eat?"
"Sure why not....,we've earned it!"
The pair said goodbye to the studio staff and walked out pulling face masks on and huddling n their jackets as they walked out into the night.
"Your song is great I think it will be a success."
"Thanks Jimin...I'm glad you came to the studio."
'"Of course I would,haven't we always been there for each other?"
It was true the pair were close since the beginning yes they had their disagreements but always made up.Jimin had taken Jungkook under his wing as they both negotiated the idol path but now the maknae was the one who seemed to look after his smaller bandmate .They had even gone through the military together and now three months back they were settling back into life outside the military frenzy staying over at each others places.
Jimin smiled to himself Jungkook was the love of his life,had they declared it...?no....they were close even the odd peck now and then and sleeping cuddled up together when they had both been drinking.....
Jimin was sure that the maknae would stop hiding soon and declare his feelings to everyone, but until then he felt secure that he'd found his life partner.
They reached the little restaurant they liked to frequent and were given a table in a quiet corner.
After ordering their food they sat chatting.
"Have you got used to life back in public?"
"Yes and no,still feel I'm under a microscope but I've decided I'm taking charge of my life and how I want it to be"
Jimin felt a frisson of excitement....was Jungkook ready to show the world how he felt?
"Gonna shake things up huh?" Jimin said rubbing a hand softly over Jungkooks head.
"Jimin don't what if someone's watching ?"
Jimin frowned but then shrugged.
"Sorry......I forgot your shy.."
"I'm not shy!"
"Really?what's the big deal then...?" He laughed
"It's time we grew up,expanded our horizons,"
"Grow up...who whines like a kid when the last snack has gone?"
"Food is important!"
"You and your stomach..."
Their food arrived and both dug in.
"Just what I needed..." Jimin sighed
Jungkook nodded but carried on eating.
"I think it was a good idea for each of us to record a new song for the back again album as well as as a group,it shows we can diversify..."
"Yer...I'm looking forward to having a concert though."
Jimin had already recorded his song a melodic little number about getting back his life the joy he felt.
"And all the shipping?" He laughed
"Well they can think what they want it's not real we all have needs and act on them."
Jimin coughed as he choked on hearing Jungkooks words.
He shyly said," so your gonna admit to a love life," his heart beat faster,finally he'd get his man.
"See how it goes ....I've got a date tomorrow where do you think I should take her?"
Jimin felt like the air had gone from his lungs.
'"Take.....her?"
"Yer,she's quite fashionable but friendly I don't want to put her in the public eye yet,I mean it may not last so I don't need prying eyes on us."
Jimin pushed his food away and drank down his beer quickly ordering another.
He felt like he could actually hear his life crashing down around him,this wasn't happening was it?
"Er where did you meet her?"
"She chose the outfits on one of my videos,we kept in touch and I finally asked her out.....this will make you laugh she actually believed the shipping about us! I told her it's all in peoples minds!"
Jimin nearly bent over as pain shot through him.
Gathering himself he said quietly," so now you're a taken man..."
"Well we have kissed but nothing further....yet,"
Kissed .......someone else? Sitting up straighter he murmured," so we won't be hanging out as much I guess ...don't want to be the third wheel and she wouldn't appreciate me being there."
"But we will see each other like we normally do ..you make it sound like a breakup!" Jungkook laughed
It was too much for Jimin whose whole world had shattered in a few minutes he had to get out of there.
"You know Kookie I don't feel so good I think I will go home "
"What is it your stomach,? Hang on I'll come back with you..."
"No! I mean you're still eating....I haven't got far to go"
Jungkook frowned he felt protective of the smaller male for some reason he didn't like the thought of him wandering around alone.
"No wait I'm nearly done,I'll come back with you,make sure you're ok."
Yes!!! Jimins heart screamed while his logic told him not to hang onto his dream.
"No Kookie,don't rush....I'm a grown up remember...I will be fine and your place is nearer here."
"So come back to mine then...?"
Jimin put a fake smile on..." no I just need to rest...you have plans to make for tomorrow ...take her somewhere small and not too loud......you'll be able to....talk...and wear something nice.....,goodnight ."
Jimin got up stopping to pay their bill then out into the cool night.
He walked his mind full of what could have been ,much as he wanted to he couldn't blame the other it was his own naivety that had kept him on the wrong path,he'd assumed the other felt the same but what had he got in return..? Brotherly affection? How he'd scoffed when he read on fans comments that they were like brothers...his mind had told him they had more than that they were inseparable ,meant to be.......how deluded was he....he was just a single gay guy in a world of macho men and Kookie represented that macho vibe,all muscles,good looks and a protective nature which he'd mistaken as love.
He knew his own feelings he knew he loved the other there was no doubt at all in his mind about that ,he now had to step aside and let Jungkook live the life he wanted to not the one he Jimin had imagined they would live.
Instead of turning to the road that led to his place he went the other way slipping into a nameless bar with other disenchanted people sipping their drinks.
Going to a quiet corner he hailed the waitress and began his journey of downward spiral.....after all what as the point of anything now?
Jungkook frowned at his phone he'd called Jimin twice,was he ok?Had he gone to sleep?
Throwing himself n his bed he stared at his phone as if willing Jimin to reply but nothing happened.
Twenty minutes later it buzzed and he grabbed it but it was a message from RM,just reminding everyone they had a meeting at ten to discuss the album and upcoming tv interview.
Sighing he told himself not to worry anymore he'd see Jimin in the morning anyway and he needed to book that restaurant too,no point going on a date if they had nowhere to go,or should he bring her here...?No....too soon only his closest friends came here.
He showered and got a beer sipping it while looking at restaurants finally picking one and booking it,he'd already told Maya he'd pick her up at seven thirty so now he was all set.Strangely it didn't seem as exciting as he thought it would.For a moment Jimins wide eyed look when he told him about his date flashed through his mind but he ignored it,of course the other would be surprised he'd never mentioned the girl before.
He finally went to bed about to throw the pile of pillows off but kept one,Jimin had stayed the night before and his unique scent was on it which Jungkook found oddly calming,so he hugged it to him before drifting off.