huskerdust

c.h.e.r.u.b part 1

Absinthe and crymini were watching Tv when a commercial started "Oh, piss on a dick!" crymini said "You've said it." absinthe said, eyes glowing (The following song is C.H.E.R.U.B form Helluva Boss)

The commercial started with a cyan dinosaur cherub with red-orange hair and a red bow appeared on screen in Cherub Towne "Well, howdy! I'm blossom! Welcome to Heaven! Guess you did somethin' good to get here, and good people deserve to give loved ones special blessin's!"

The commercial started showing several humans die in horrific ways

Bubbles:"Does it make you want to cry?"

Buttercup:"When your loved one has to die?"

Blossom:"Does it hurt you through and through?"

All:"When your face is turnin' bluuuuue?"

a purple octopus cherub with blonde hair in pigtails and a yellow duck cherub with short black hair appeared alongside blossom

Bubbles:"Well, luckily for you..."

Buttercup:"There's somethin' we can do!"

Blossom:"We can help keep them alive,"

All:"So you can watch them thrive!"

All:"'Cause here at C.H.E.... R.U.B!"

Bubbles:"We'll save your honeybun from dying violently!"

All:"'Cause here at C.H.E.... R.U.B!"

Buttercup:"No, we never even ask a fee!"

Bubbles and Blossom hug each other

Bubbles:"Because good people spread the love!"

Buttercup:"And we're here for all above!"

Blossom:"We'll do the paperwork for you!"

Bubbles:"And the heavy liftin', too!"

Blossom:"So sit right back"

All:"And let us bless a soul for you!"

All:"Oh, we're... Are the C.H.E.R.U.B!"

Absinthe and crymini paused the TV and looked at the screen in shock "What. The. Fuck?" absinthe asked, husk walked "What's going on here?" he asked "I don't know." crymini said. Husk looked at the TV and saw the cherubs, he growled "Fuckin' cherubs." "You know 'em?" absinth asked "Unfortunately yes. C.H.E.R.U.B is a business they ran where they save humans." "Why's that a bad thing?" crymini asked "'cause cherubs, ARE SELFFISH, SPOILED PEICES OF SHIT!" husk said, eyes glowing brightly "Weird how a commercial from Heaven got all the way down here." husk said, confused.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door "I'll get it!" husk said. When husk opened the door a beam of light shoot in making everyone cover their eyes "MY EYES!" husk said, covering his eyes, when the light stopped everyone looked at the door to see blossom, bubbles, and buttercup "What the fuck are they?" arackniss  asked "Cherubs sir!" blossom said "The fuck?" angel said, confused "We're here to grant you all a blessing, on behalf of those in Heaven that loved your casino on Earth." bubbles said "No." husk said, trying to slam the door in their faces but the cherubs stopped him "Sir we're trying to help you, so let us help you." buttercup said, tapping his nose. Husk bit her hand "Ouch!" she said, looking at her bloody hand "I DIDN'T GIVE YOU ANY PERMISSION TO TOUCH ME." husk growled, eyes glowing "Besides what's so great about Heaven that we have't leave all our shit and friends behind?" absinthe asked "It's the greatest place in the universe!" bubbles said "And we'll show you!" buttercup said. "Yeah!" The cherubs cheered "NOOOOO--!" the family yelled as the cherubs teleported them away.