In the code of human interaction,
I am a perpetual syntax error.
Debugging in real-time,
always one update behind.
Neurotypical: a word that sounds like
a font choice or a blood type.
Am I Courier New in a Times New Roman world?
Or O negative, universal donor of masked confusion?
Small talk: an oxymoron.
All talk is immense,
a galaxy of possible meanings
orbiting each syllable.
They say, "Read between the lines."
I say, "I'm still deciphering the lines themselves."
Read: a submarine language
I'm not equipped to dive for.
In conversations, I am an archaeologist,
excavating for intent,
brushing away layers of nuance,
cataloguing artifacts of expression.
Eye contact: a battlefield
where gazes clash like swords.
I choose the peace of peripheral vision,
finding faces in the negative space.
"Just be yourself," they say,
as if 'self' were a constant
and not a variable
redefined in each social equation.
Stimming: my body's way
of punctuating overwhelming sentences,
a kinetic grammar
misread as restlessness.
In the library of social scripts,
I am always checking out books,
memorizing chapters,
improvising poorly when the plot twists.
Masking: a daily performance
where I play the role of 'normal'
in a production
I didn't audition for.
They say, "You're so articulate!"
Not realizing each word is carefully selected,
each phrase rehearsed,
an internal thesaurus always whirring.
In the neural network of humanity,
I am a node connecting in unexpected ways.
Different, not less.
Divergent, not broken.
Processing, always processing.
YOU ARE READING
Beyond Your Labels | Poems
PoesiaThis collection is for anyone who has ever felt out of step with the world, for those who find power in perseverance. These poems are the words I couldn't speak, the feelings I couldn't express, now given life on paper.
