Bucky's Anchor

Chapter 72 - What Lies Ahead

The morning light filters through the window, casting soft, golden rays across our small apartment. Bucky is already up, sitting on the edge of the bed, lost in his thoughts. I watch him for a moment, trying to gauge his mood. He's been quieter than usual these past few days, ever since we attended Sam's family gathering.

I can't blame him. Everything feels like it's in limbo. He's completed the list, made amends, and yet, I can see in his eyes that he's still searching for something—some sense of closure, maybe. Or perhaps just a way to reconcile the man he is now with the things he's done.

I push myself up, wrapping a blanket around my shoulders as I move to sit beside him. His gaze is fixed on his metal arm, his fingers absentmindedly tracing the intricate Vibranium designs.

"Hey," I say softly, reaching out to touch his shoulder. "You okay?"

He looks at me, and there's a heaviness in his eyes that makes my heart ache. "Yeah," he says, though his voice lacks conviction. "I'm just... thinking."

I've grown used to his vague answers. He's always thinking. But right now, I know it's more than that. There's something weighing him down, something he's struggling to put into words.

"You've been different since the gathering," I say, carefully watching his reaction. "Is something bothering you?"

He's quiet for a moment, his brow furrowing as if he's trying to sort through his thoughts. "I don't know," he finally says, his voice low. "It's just... weird. Being around people again. Being... normal."

I nod, understanding what he's trying to say. "It's not easy," I agree. "But you're doing it. One step at a time."

He lets out a sigh, his shoulders slumping slightly. "I keep thinking... I've done all these things. Made amends. But it still feels like something's missing. Like I'm not... enough."

I reach for his hand, threading my fingers through his. "Bucky," I say softly, squeezing his hand. "You're more than enough. You've done everything you can to make up for your past. But now, it's time to start focusing on your future."

He looks at me, a small frown creasing his brow. "My future," he repeats, as if the concept is foreign to him.

"Yes," I say, leaning in closer. "Your future. Our future."

I don't say it out loud, but as the words hang in the air, I think of the life growing inside me, the future we're unknowingly preparing for. A future I haven't told him about yet.

---

Later that afternoon, we take a walk through the park. The air is crisp, with just a hint of warmth from the approaching summer. Bucky's mood has lifted slightly since our conversation earlier, though I can still see the tension in his posture.

We walk in comfortable silence for a while, the sound of children playing and birds chirping filling the air around us. It's peaceful here—something I know Bucky craves, even if he doesn't admit it. Peace. Normalcy. A chance to leave the Winter Soldier behind.

At one point, he stops, turning to face me. "Do you think I'll ever really be free of it?" he asks, his voice so quiet it almost gets lost in the breeze.

I blink, startled by the sudden question. "Free of what?" I ask, though I know the answer before he says it.

"The Winter Soldier," he replies, his eyes dark with worry. "No matter what I do, no matter how much I try to be someone else... he's always there. In the back of my mind."

I step closer, placing my hand on his chest. "Bucky," I say, my voice steady. "The Winter Soldier doesn't define you. You've spent years fighting to be more than that, and you have. You're not that person anymore."

He looks down at me, his expression conflicted. "But what if people still see me that way? What if... what if I can't shake it?"

"You don't need to prove anything to anyone," I tell him, my hand resting over his heart. "You've already done that. The only person you need to believe in is yourself."

His gaze softens slightly, and I can see the walls he's built around himself start to crack, just a little. "It's hard," he admits, his voice barely above a whisper. "Believing in myself. After everything... it's hard."

I nod, understanding the depth of his struggle. "I know," I say gently. "But you're not alone in this. I believe in you. Sam believes in you. And one day, you'll believe in yourself too."

He lets out a soft breath, his hand covering mine. "I'm trying," he murmurs. "I really am."

"And that's all that matters," I reply, giving him a small smile. "We're in this together."

---

The days continue to pass, and slowly but surely, I see Bucky begin to open up. He's spending more time with Sam, helping out with projects in the community and even getting involved in some local events. It's strange, seeing him smile more, laugh more. It's a side of him I haven't seen in a long time—maybe ever.

One evening, we're sitting on the porch of our apartment, the warm glow of the setting sun casting long shadows across the street. Bucky leans back in his chair, a content expression on his face as he watches the world go by.

"I never thought I'd be here," he says suddenly, his voice breaking the comfortable silence.

I glance over at him, raising an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"Here," he repeats, gesturing around him. "Alive. Free. Sitting on a porch, watching the sunset. It's... surreal."

I smile, leaning back in my own chair. "Well, you deserve it," I say, resting my hand on my belly, feeling the faint flutter of movement inside. "You've earned this."

He turns to me, his eyes softening. "Do you really think so?" he asks, his voice laced with uncertainty.

"I know so," I reply, meeting his gaze. "You've worked so hard to get here, Bucky. To become the man you want to be. And I'm so proud of you."

He doesn't say anything for a moment, just watches me with an intensity that makes my heart skip a beat. Then, slowly, a small smile tugs at the corners of his mouth.

"Thank you," he says quietly. "For believing in me."

I reach over, taking his hand in mine. "Always," I whisper, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

As we sit there, the sky turning shades of pink and orange, I feel a sense of peace settle over me. Bucky is growing, changing, and I know that whatever the future holds—whatever challenges we face—we'll get through it together.

I still haven't told him about the baby, but as I watch him now, I know the time is coming. He's ready for the next chapter of our lives. We both are.