Bucky's Anchor

Chapter 44 - Farewells and Sacrifices

It was a day drenched in somber stillness, the kind of quiet that sinks deep into your bones. We stood by the lake, the soft murmur of the wind through the trees the only sound that dared to break the silence. My hand was clasped tightly in Bucky's as we both stared at the small group of people gathered to say goodbye to Tony Stark.

I couldn't stop my mind from racing back to the battle, back to the moment when everything had changed. We had won, but it didn't feel like a victory. Not when the cost was so high.

As I looked around, I saw familiar faces, all shadowed with grief. Pepper stood at the front, her face pale, but her back straight as she held her daughter's hand. Morgan didn't fully understand the weight of what was happening, but she clung to her mother, her innocent eyes wide with confusion.

I glanced up at Bucky, his face set in a hard, expressionless mask. I knew he was feeling it too—the weight of loss, the reality that Tony was gone. He had sacrificed himself for all of us, for the world. But that didn't make it any easier to say goodbye.

"Are you okay?" I whispered, squeezing his hand.

He didn't answer right away, his eyes still focused on the water. When he finally spoke, his voice was quiet, rough. "He gave everything. And now he's gone."

I nodded, feeling the sting of tears that I had been holding back since the ceremony began. "He saved us all."

Bucky didn't respond, just gave a slight nod, his grip on my hand tightening. I leaned into him, finding some comfort in his steady presence. Around us, people began to move, stepping forward to pay their final respects. Some left flowers at the edge of the lake; others stood in silence, heads bowed in quiet reflection.

It felt like the end of something, something bigger than just Tony's life. It was the end of an era.

I let out a shaky breath, and Bucky's arm came around my shoulders, pulling me closer. I rested my head against his chest, feeling the steady rise and fall of his breath, letting it calm my own racing heart.

"I can't believe he's really gone," I murmured, my voice barely above a whisper.

"I know," Bucky said, his voice tight with the emotion he was trying so hard to contain. "But we're going to live because of him. All of us."

I nodded, knowing he was right, but it didn't make the pain any less. It didn't make the hollow ache in my chest go away.

As the final moments of the ceremony came to a close, Pepper stepped forward, her hand trembling as she placed a small arc reactor—Tony's arc reactor—at the foot of the wreath floating on the lake. The sight of it, the glowing blue light dimmed forever, was enough to break whatever walls I had been holding up. I turned my face into Bucky's chest, my shoulders shaking as the sobs finally came.

---

The grief for Tony was already heavy, but I had no idea how much more my heart was about to break.

After the service, Clint found me and Bucky standing near the treeline, just away from the group. His face was pale, his eyes rimmed red as he approached us. I noticed the way his shoulders slumped, the exhaustion of battle still clinging to him.

"Clint," I said softly, stepping forward. "I'm so sorry about everything. Tony..."

But Clint shook his head, a bitter smile pulling at his lips. "It's not just Tony."

A sinking feeling settled in my stomach. "What do you mean?"

For a moment, he couldn't look at me. He stared down at the ground, his jaw clenched tight, his hands shoved into his pockets like he was holding himself together by sheer force of will. Finally, he raised his eyes to meet mine, and the raw pain I saw there made my breath catch.

"Natasha's gone," he said, his voice cracking.

The world seemed to tilt on its axis, everything slowing to a crawl as his words sank in. My mouth opened, but no sound came out. It felt like all the air had been sucked from my lungs, and I couldn't breathe, couldn't think.

"No..." I whispered, shaking my head. "No, that can't be right. She... she was supposed to be here."

Clint's eyes filled with tears, and he nodded. "She sacrificed herself for the Soul Stone. We couldn't get it any other way. Nat... she didn't even hesitate. She made the choice so we could have a chance."

My knees gave out before I could stop myself. I collapsed to the ground, my hands clutching the earth as I sobbed uncontrollably. Bucky was beside me in an instant, his arms around me, holding me as I shattered. But no matter how tightly he held me, it didn't stop the pain, the overwhelming, suffocating grief that had taken hold of my heart.

"Why her?" I cried, my voice breaking. "Why did it have to be her?"

Clint knelt beside me, his hand resting gently on my shoulder. "She did it for all of us, Emily. She did it because she knew we needed that stone. She knew it was the only way."

I shook my head, my tears blurring everything around me. "But she was my friend... my sister."

"I know," Clint whispered, his voice thick with his own grief. "She was mine too."

---

Bucky helped me up, his arm steady around my waist as I leaned heavily into him. I couldn't stop crying. It felt like the world had been pulled out from under me, like I was falling into a bottomless pit, and there was no way to stop.

"I should have been there," I whispered, my voice hoarse from the tears. "I should have stopped her."

Bucky shook his head, his hand rubbing soothing circles on my back. "You couldn't have known, Emily. None of us could have."

"But she's gone," I said, my voice barely audible. "Nat's gone."

"I know," Bucky whispered, pulling me tighter against him. "I know, and it hurts. But she saved us all. She gave us the chance to be here, to live."

His words offered little comfort, but I knew he was right. Natasha had given everything, just like Tony, just like so many others. And now, all we could do was honor her memory by living the life she had helped secure.

As we stood there in the quiet aftermath of the funeral, I buried my face in Bucky's chest, letting my grief wash over me. He held me through it, strong and steady, his presence the only thing keeping me from falling apart completely.

---

Later that evening, after most people had left, Bucky and I stayed behind, a single candle in my hands as we walked down to the edge of the lake. The air was still, the sun setting in a wash of soft orange and pink hues that reflected off the water.

I knelt beside the lake, placing the candle on the ground. The flame flickered in the gentle breeze, casting a warm glow over the darkening waters. Bucky stood behind me, his hand resting on my shoulder, a silent pillar of support.

I closed my eyes, whispering a soft farewell to Natasha, my words lost to the wind.

"Goodbye, Nat," I whispered, my voice trembling. "I'll never forget you."

Bucky squeezed my shoulder gently, his voice low and quiet as he spoke. "She's at peace now, Emily. And she'll always be with us, in everything we do."

I nodded, wiping the tears from my eyes as I stood up, taking Bucky's hand. Together, we stood in silence, watching as the candle's flame flickered against the night.

Natasha had always been the strongest person I knew. She had given her life for all of us, and now she was gone. But I would honor her by living, by carrying her strength and bravery with me. And though she was no longer here, her spirit would always be with us, guiding us, reminding us of the sacrifice she had made for our future.