Bucky's Anchor

Chapter 76 - Midnight Confessions

The quiet of the early morning is interrupted by Bucky's restless movements beside me. His usual stillness in sleep is replaced by subtle shifts—his body tense, his breaths shallow. I open my eyes, glancing at the clock. It's just past 3 AM.

"Bucky?" I whisper, turning to face him.

He's lying on his back, staring up at the ceiling, eyes wide open and filled with thoughts I can't yet decipher. His jaw is set, his hands resting on his stomach, clenching and unclenching as if he's holding onto some invisible weight.

"You okay?" I ask, my voice soft as I reach for his hand.

He flinches at the touch but then relaxes slightly, his fingers intertwining with mine. "Yeah," he says, though it's clear he's not. His voice is strained, his thoughts somewhere far away.

"Want to talk about it?" I ask, gently squeezing his hand.

He sighs, his brow furrowing deeper. "It's just... everything. I don't know how to shake this feeling that something's going to go wrong."

I shift, sitting up against the headboard, and pat the space beside me. "Come here," I say softly.

Bucky hesitates, but then he moves, leaning into me, his head resting on my shoulder. I can feel the tension radiating off of him, like he's bracing himself for something terrible that only exists in his mind.

"It's going to be okay," I whisper, placing my hand on his arm. "We're going to be okay."

"I know," he murmurs, but the uncertainty in his voice lingers. I can see the worry etched into his features, the dark circles under his eyes from sleepless nights. He's been carrying this fear for a while now—since the day we found out I was pregnant, and it's only grown as the months have passed.

---

The next morning, I decide it's time to have a real conversation. Bucky's been walking around with this weight on his shoulders for too long, and I can't let him keep doing this to himself.

We're sitting on the porch, the sun setting in the distance, casting golden light over everything. Bucky's quiet, his eyes fixed on the horizon, lost in thought. I can tell by the way his jaw is set that the worry is eating away at him again.

I take his hand, pulling his attention back to me. "Bucky, we need to talk," I say softly.

He glances at me, his expression guarded. "About what?"

"About this," I reply, gesturing to the space between us. "About what's been going on with you. You've been carrying all this worry, and it's getting worse. I can see it in your eyes, hear it in the way you talk."

He sighs, running a hand over his face. "I'm fine."

"No, you're not," I say firmly but gently. "I know you, Bucky. I know when something's weighing on you."

His shoulders sag, the façade crumbling just a little. "It's just... I don't know how to stop worrying," he admits, his voice barely a whisper.

I place his hand on my growing belly, letting him feel the subtle movements of our baby. "Feel that?" I ask, smiling as our baby kicks gently beneath his hand.

His eyes soften, a mixture of awe and fear washing over his face. "Yeah," he murmurs.

"You're already doing so much for us," I say, my voice quiet but steady. "You're here. You're present. And that's what matters most."

Bucky looks down at my stomach, his fingers tracing slow, gentle circles. "I just... I want to be good enough for you both."

"You are good enough," I insist. "You've always been enough. This fear you have—it doesn't make you weak, Bucky. It makes you human. And it's okay to be scared. I'm scared too."

He lifts his gaze to meet mine, and I can see the vulnerability in his eyes, the fear that he's been trying so hard to hide. But I can also see the love there—the love that has carried us through so much already.

---

His face crumples, and for the first time in a while, I see the weight of everything he's been holding back. "What if I can't protect them?" he whispers, his voice breaking. "What if I mess this up? I don't know how to be a father, Emily."

My heart breaks for him, and I reach out, cupping his face in my hands. "Bucky, you've been protecting people your whole life," I remind him softly. "You've fought so hard to become the man you are today. You're already protecting our baby in ways you don't even realize."

He shakes his head, pulling away slightly. "But what if it's not enough? What if I end up like... like I was before? What if I can't give them the life they deserve?"

His words hang heavy between us, filled with the weight of his past, of everything he's been through. I've always known that Bucky's greatest fear is becoming the man he once was—the weapon he was forced to be. And now, with the baby on the way, that fear has taken on a new, terrifying shape.

"You won't," I say firmly, taking his hand again. "You won't become that man, because you've worked too hard to leave him behind. You've changed, Bucky. You're not that person anymore. And you'll be an incredible father, because you care more than anyone I know."

He looks down, his breath shaky. "I just... I want to give them something better than what I had. I don't want them to grow up with fear."

"They won't," I promise, squeezing his hand. "Because they'll have you. And I'll be right there beside you, every step of the way. We're in this together, remember?"

His gaze lifts, meeting mine with a glimmer of hope. "You really believe that?" he asks, his voice barely above a whisper.

"I do," I say, nodding. "I believe in you, Bucky. I always have."

---

For a moment, we sit in silence, the sounds of the evening wrapping around us. Bucky's hand remains on my stomach, his thumb gently brushing against the fabric of my dress. The baby kicks again, and I see the soft smile tug at his lips—a rare, genuine smile that melts away the worry, if only for a moment.

He leans his forehead against mine, closing his eyes. "Thank you," he whispers, his voice filled with gratitude. "For always believing in me, even when I can't."

I press a kiss to his forehead, feeling the tension drain from his body as he relaxes into the moment. "Always," I whisper back.

We stay like that for a long time, the world around us fading as we hold onto each other, grounded in the love we share. The fears are still there, but they don't feel as overwhelming now. We'll face them together, one step at a time.

As the sun dips below the horizon, casting the sky in shades of orange and pink, I feel a sense of peace settle over us. We may not have all the answers, but we have each other. And that's enough for now.

"Everything's going to be okay," I say softly, my hand resting on top of his. "We're going to figure this out together."

Bucky nods, his eyes soft as he gazes at me. "Yeah," he murmurs, his voice steady now. "Together."