Diary of a Muslim girl

Chapter 9

Author's note:
Hey. Salam. How's it going for all of you? Alhamdulillah, I am doing good. I just finished my exams and  it went good. I had written a part of this story back on Eid-ul-fitr and I had added some duas as it was just after ramadan. But nevertheless, Allah accepts our duas at all times. So let's pray for all the people. May Allah accept our good deeds, and remove our bad deeds from our book of deeds. May He accept all our payers and reward us for our good deeds. May He also help everyone around, especially the ones suffering mentally, physically and emotionally. May  Allah save our Muslim brothers and sisters from the tortures they are facing, especially in Gaza, Syria, Libya, Afghanistan, Myanmar etc. May He bless us all.

Enjoy this chapter. Rate, comment and follow ♥<3<3
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Deep breath in..out..in...out. I am standing in front of the ICU. Firaz is alamdulillah quite okay. Just some fractures in his leg and wrist. While the driver who he slammed into was doing very well.

I enter the ICU. Firaz had called for me. I guess he wanted to talk to all of us individually about what really happened out there.

"Fir," I call softly from the door. He stirs on his bed. His blanket shifts from its place and I can see his leg in a white cast. An IV drip bag was hanging near his bed, and my eyes followed it till the end where it was injected into my brother's vein. Seeing that he is awake, I smile to myself.

"Hey.Assalamu alaikum," I add on. 

"Waalaikum assalaam," comes the exhausted reply.

Firaz has always been stupid, driving fast. His driving according to me was a 6/10. He really needs to improve on his skills. This time, it seems that  there was an obstacle on the road, and he was driving fast. He pulled the brakes half a second too late, leaving just a bump on the driver's car in front, but the impact of the brakes caused his bones in his calf to break, and here he was in the ICU.

"I am so relieved to see you okay. What were you thinking when you were speeding on the road? Don't do that ever again." My voice was rising higher by each word.

"Sorry Zai for scaring you all. I do understand that it's my problem. Always been a stupid guy, huh?"

"Well I am the smart one here," I chuckle with my reply.

The awkward silence settles in the room, and boy is it weird!

Suddenly as we both feel the tension in the room, we both look at each other, and start laughing.

A min later, I call out,"Firaz"

"Yeah?" He asks back. 

"Tell me, did something happen before this accident?"

"Pardon?"

"Was there anything bothering you? Did anything lead up to this tragedy?"

Firaz breathes out a long sigh. He clears a little space on his bed, and he pats it for me to sit down. I approach him warily as he still didn't answer my questions.

"Let me first tell you something. Whatever bad happens in your life, never leave it without praying to Allah to help you. And if someone does come along the way to help you, accept him and tell him your problems. And never ever speed ever in your whole life. Unless you are going for the formula race." 

Wow. His speech started all religious, and he ends it with formula racing. Okaay. I think I better call the doctor, cause this boy might be suffering from just more than leg damage. 

"So that was it? You were just racing? For fun? Are you crazy? Were you high on sugar?" I roll off one question after other. 

"Yep.Yep.Yep.Yep. I had two cups of granda starbucks coffee if that makes any difference."

I give him a death glare for thirty whole seconds. He was not supposed to tell jokes over here, but being the old stupid guy he thinks all of this is a joke.

"Do you not realize how much you scared us? This isn't a joke. I am your sister, and I deserve to know if there was something bothering you."

"Oh yeah? Then why don't you tell me what is going on in your mind. Why do you have that frown plastered on your face? I am your brother. Don't I deserve to know how you are doing?"

I didn't expect that. I did't think that he would ask me. I didn't think that he actually knew something was wrong. Was I an open book where everyone knew that I was not doing good and chose to just ignore me instead of help me? Or did the people who asked me the question "Are you okay?" really were the only ones who understood me? Either way, I was not ready for my brother's questions.

"Zai Zai.. I was also in a cycle of sadness before. I am you brother. I should know if you are okay or not. Tell me soon if anything is wrong. Atleast tell someone. Don't go through this alone."

I give a small smile and a nod. I hug him awkwardly, partly because he was still in bed and partly because of this conversation. 

A nurse knocks sharply, pops her head in and tell me to leave. As I go around the room, making sure he will be alright, Firaz calls out again. "Zainab"

No.Not another conversation about me. 

"I did drink 2 cups of coffee before. Must have been the sugar," he says smoothly.

I face palm myself. "Just get well soon, okay? Assalamu alaikum." I reply and I leave.

Outside, I can see my mom and dad talking to themselves. Nuh and Nabeel, my younger brothers are sitting in the corner sleeping. I greet my parents. They soon leave, making me in charge of my brothers. I feel a yawn coming, and I check the time. It is past 12 midnight. I decide to read the newspaper. 

After a few minutes, I keep the newspaper down, and I start reflecting on death and its consequences. If Firazhad died today, would he had told the shahadah? If I died, would I have told it? I certainly didn't think this morning that he would be involved in a car crash. Although not serious, Allah has helped him and us in keeping him alive with us in this world. I pray two rakaats salat-ut-tawbah to repent from all the sins that I have done.

My parents return after a while, and we decide to stay the night in the hospital just in case something needs to be taken care of. I doze off after a while.

The next morning, I wake up and pray Salat-ul-Fajr, the first prayer of the day. After I read some qur'an, I proceed to the canteen to buy some hot chocolate. I stay there for a while, and I check my phone. It is filled with messages from friends and family giving the support that we need. I send off a message to everyone saying thanks and to keep us in their prayers. I go back to the hallway, and help my brother out. After his breakfast, he is told by the nurse that he will change rooms from the ICU to a private room till he can be discharged. I see him off to his new room, and I go around and sit in the hallway to get some private time and read to get my mind out of things. 

"Zainab," a person whispers. I look up from my book to see everyone who was there yesterday in the hangout in front of me. I give them all a sad smile and greet them.

"Hey. Thanks for the support," I tell them. My girl squad hugs me one by one, whereas the boys give me nods at me.

"Everything okay? Is Firaz doing good?" Zoe asks. 

"Yeah, he is fine. He has some leg injuries. You can visit him now," I tell them and guide them to the room. 

After they had seen him and interacted with him, they come back. We talk about stuff in school, and once when I look around, I could see Michael looking at me closely. I give him a questioned look, and he replies with a nod. Keeping that incident behind, I gather up my friends and we go to the canteen to have some food. Afterwards, they leave one by one, giving me their love.