Box Flower

08 - Party On... Again

The drive was silent the closer we got to the party location. It was odd how one minute I was in a long term relationship, and the next I've kissed another man. Though it didn't feel right for either of us, it wasn't something we could brush off. It happened. While we weren't fond of it, it felt good to try something just because. It may be wrong of me to think this way, but at the same time it felt good to get back at Avy in some way. She slept with my boyfriend who is now my ex, and while I didn't sleep with Caden, I kissed her ex. That did feel right.

Pulling up to the party, Caden put the car in park. We sat for a moment not saying a word. Caden leaned back in the driver seat sighing a bit.

"Should we talk about it?" Caden said, voice low as if someone might hear.

"Talking would be beneficial yeah." I replied with the same quietness. I turned to face him, he was already looking at me.

"I know we agreed it didn't feel right. So what do we do now?" Caden looked a little distraught. While I selfishly loved the revenge I've gotten, he didn't seem too keen on the idea of giving Avy another reason not to want him.

"Nothing. We pretend it didn't happen. We don't have to tell anyone, or talk about it." I felt terrible for the decision and how it makes him feel, but if we do tell people I'll love the outcome.

"I know she slept with someone else. She's done it before. But something about sleeping with my best friend and my friend's boyfriend doesn't sit well with me." Looking down at his lap he took the key out of the ignition.

"But you can't hate her." I said, "if she were to ask for forgiveness, you'd accept it." I finished.

"I'm sorry, I really am. But I love this girl. I don't know how to stop."

Because we understand each other, the rough parts and all, it allows us to be vaunerable with each other in a way we can't with anyone else. He can't express his emotions well, and I can. But because I can express myself and I understand him, it's the only time he can express himself.

"There's nothing wrong with loving someone Caden. The only thing you have to think about is if their love is worth receiving." I said grabbing onto his arm, making him look at me. "She loves you too, I'm afraid that love is more like a succubus. It drains every bit of self worth out of you to take for itself. You'll always love her, as I will Winslow. But there comes a point, when you have to move forward and direct that love to someone worth giving it to. Someone who will love you the same, if not more ten-fold. Who will love you in a way that makes your self worth feel whole." I complete.

"When will I know I can move forward?" He asks.

"Well you kissed me tonight. And I think I'm the first person you've kissed since you guys broke up. So I'd say you're a step in the right direction. But as for knowing when you're ready? That's all up to how you feel. No one can tell you when you're ready, you have to decide that for yourself." I answered. Humming, I leaned my head back against the seat closing my eyes.

"Thanks. For being here. You're the only one to seem to get it." He said sighing once again.

"No need to thank me. You and I are cut from the same cloth. We need to stick together every now and then to make sure we don't fall apart." I opened my eyes and tilted my head to look at him. "Now let's get into that damn party and forget everything for a night shall we?"

Chuckling he hopped out of the driver seat and ran to my side of the car. Opening my door for me and offering me a hand he says in his best British accent, "M'lady, the ball awaits you."

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Once inside, the smell of alcohol fills the room. We once again weave through the crowd to get to the kitchen. Caden then suddenly stops, allowing me to not so gracefully slam into his back.