whispers from the other side

Lost In thoughts

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How can I blame the wind for the mess it made,
when it was me, who opened the window.
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.
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I stared out the car window, my mind reeling with the events that had transpired. Being with Sean felt surreal, like a dream I didn't want to wake up from. But the weight of my memories, of my own death, lingered.

As we arrived at Sean's mansion, I sensed a change in him. He was distant, lost in thought. His eyes, usually bright and piercing, seemed dull and troubled.

"Sean?" I ventured, trying to break the silence.

He turned to me, forcing a weak smile. "Sorry, Yibo. Just...lost in thought."

I nodded, understanding. We entered the mansion, and Sean didn't leave my side. His proximity brought me comfort, but I couldn't shake off the feeling that he was hiding something.

As the day wore on, Sean's distraction grew. He'd stare off into space, his mind elsewhere. I tried to engage him in conversation, but his responses were monosyllabic.

Finally, I'd had enough. "Sean, you need to change," I said, tugging on his wet sleeve. "You'll catch a fever."

He looked down, seemingly surprised by his damp clothes. "Oh...yeah."

I guided him to the bedroom, helping him out of his wet shirt and pants. His eyes met mine, and for a moment, I saw a glimmer of the Sean I knew.

"Thank you, Yibo," he whispered, his voice filled with emotion.

As he changed, I couldn't help but notice the way his eyes lingered on me. There was a depth to his gaze, a longing that made my heart skip a beat.

"Sean?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

"Yes?"

"What's troubling you?"

His eyes dropped, and he took a deep breath. "Just...everything. Losing you, finding you...I don't know what's real anymore."

My heart ached for him. I knew that feeling all too well.

I guided Sean to the bed, his eyes drooping with exhaustion. As we reached the bed, he collapsed onto the mattress, his body surrendering to fatigue.

"Sleep, Sean," I whispered, helping him settle in.

He grasped my hand, his eyes locking onto mine. "Stay with me, Yibo."

I nodded, sitting beside him until his breathing slowed, and his grip relaxed.

Certain he was asleep, I slipped out of the bedroom and made my way downstairs to the kitchen. The silence of the mansion enveloped me.

In the kitchen, I found a spread of dishes, carefully prepared and left for us. My stomach growled, but I knew Sean hadn't eaten all day.

I decided to reheat some food for him, knowing he'd need it when he woke. I chose his favorite dish, beef stir-fry, and warmed it in the microwave.

As I waited, memories flooded my mind.

I remembered my last year of college, the pressure to excel, and the solitude I'd grown accustomed to. Always shy, always introverted.

I recalled sitting alone in the library, surrounded by stacks of books, lost in my own world. Few people knew me, and even fewer understood me.

My professors praised my intellect, but I struggled to express myself. Simple nods, monosyllabic responses - that was my language.

Memories of my college days flooded my mind, like a bittersweet tidal wave. I never had many friends, content with my solitude, lost in the pages of my favorite books or immersed in academic pursuits.

But on that day, the last day of our college exams, my classmates were ecstatic. The tension and stress had finally lifted, replaced by an infectious excitement.

Peng, a classmate, shouted, "Party at my dad's place! Everyone's invited!" His dad's restaurant, more of a bar, was the perfect venue. The dimly lit interior, coupled with the hum of music and laughter, promised an unforgettable night.

Cheers erupted, and I felt out of place. I'd planned to head home, lose myself in books, and revel in the silence.

As I turned to leave, a figure blocked my path.

"Hey, Yibo! You're coming, right?" Peng asked, a wide grin spreading across his face.

I hesitated, unsure. Social gatherings weren't my forte. I preferred observing from a distance, rather than being the center of attention.

"Come on, it'll be fun! We've got drinks, music...you can't miss it!" another classmate chimed in, enthusiasm radiating from their voice.

I nodded, reluctantly. Perhaps it was time to break free from my shell, if only for a night.

Little did I know, that decision would change everything.

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.
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Your memory is the ghost that haunts me,
a constant reminder of love and loss.
🥀