secret love

24| masked the pain

Jisung walked home, wiping away tears. His heart condition made everyday tasks challenging, but today's conversation with Minho had left him reeling.

But why? Why again. When his intention is to make everything fine. Why did minho have to come up with those conversations, and why would he say those words right in front of jisung?

"Why did Minho have to say those things?" Jisung wondered, his mind racing. "Doesn't he know how hard it is for me?"

He rushed into his room, locking the door behind him. Tears streamed down his face as he struggled to catch his breath.

"You're making it hard for me, Minho,"
Jisung whispered, his voice cracking.

He sat on the floor, trying to calm himself. His heart raced, and his thoughts swirled. Sitting on the floor her put his hand on his chest as he could feel how unsteady his heart was beating. He tried to control himself from letting out more cries and only focus on his condition now.

He swallowed his dry throat, breathing heavily. For some reason, it gives him peace thinking about the possibilities of him dying, but at the same time, it scares him a lot. Peaceful because he won't feel the silent pain anymore, but scares because 一 he will lose someone. He will be leaving that person. Yet, the same person , the only person who has intentionally or unintentionally hurt him.

"I can't 一 doesn't matter how much you hate me. it doesn't matter how much you are disgusted by my existence. I can't help it . I know I promised myself not to, but it seems like that's the only thing I can do to be alive."

His eyes were too weak to stay up still, his voice barely audible as he whispered alone, the words utterly being said in his mind. He fell asleep on the floor unrealisingly. His eyes eventually closed , and his body was not even moving anymore. Jisung's heart was a heavy burden, weighed down by secrets.

Jisung's eyes grew heavy, and he drifted off to sleep.

Everything went black. It should be white.

•

Minho jolted upright, his heart racing like a runaway train. The blanket slid off him, revealing a torso slick with sweat. His breath came in ragged gasps, as if he'd just sprinted through a nightmare.

The memory of the dream lingered, seared into his mind like a branding iron. A life-loss dream, where everything slipped through his fingers like sand.

Minho woke up to a disturbing dream. His heart pounded as he recalled the vivid images.

In the dream, he'd lost someone dear. The feeling lingered, unsettling him.

"Who was it?" Minho wondered, shaking off the unease.

Morning sunlight streamed through the window, mocking his dark thoughts. Minho threw off the covers and stumbled to the bathroom, seeking solace in the shower's warm embrace.

As the water cascaded down, his tense muscles relaxed, but his mind remained on high alert. Something nagged at him, piercing his heart like a splinter.

"Why did I dream that?"
he wondered, his thoughts racing.

But the unease lingered, refusing to be washed away.

•

Felix's concern was palpable as he asked, "Are you sure you don't need to go to the hospital?" Jisung's dismissive shrug and weary sigh spoke volumes.

"I'll stay here. I don't want Mom to see me like this,"
Jisung whispered, vulnerability etched on his face.

Felix's expression softened. "You're welcome to stay anytime, Sungie. I just want you better." His voice cracked as he added, "Seeing you like this tears me apart."