why me?

I can't deal with this pain anymore Part 4

Lucy gets back to her apartment she was 2 minutes late she was even speeding just to get to her own home she didn't want to be broken again not again 

C- YOUR LATE AGAIN 

L-I'm sorry there was traffic I was speeding to get here 

C- I DONT CARE AT THIS POINT YOUR GETTING ON MY LAST NERVES NOW YOU'RE GOING TO PAY!!

L- Chris please I had a hard day at work  

C- DOSE IT LOOK LIKE I CARE 

then it happened again 1 hit after another 1 kick and another this brings the memories back from Caleb in Lucys mind all she thought was not again I can't do this again then it was finally over Chris got tired of beating lucy, so he grabbed a beer and went to bed lucy got up in worry for her life she limped to the bathroom , as she stared at her beaten and battered body in the foggy mirror 

*In Lucys mind*

I look so disgusting Chris was right I do need to lose weight I'm so ugly how does he love me?

*Normal POV*

as lucy was looking in the mirror she spots her pandora box 

L- I haven't used this since Jackson died it helped me through the pain and it's going to help me again  

lucy picked up the box from the side of the sink and locked the door she started tearing up 1 cut after another Lucy couldn't stop, she fell back into her depressive state in Lucy's mind this was the only thing that was helping, more cuts to her thighs. as she kept cutting, she saw the sunrise through the window has it really been that long? as she looked at her thighs, she saw her white to red colored cuts. Lucy panicked did she really just relapse after 2 years? 

*Lucys mind* 

Fuck I did it again and I'm late for work I don't care that I'm early I just want to get out 

*Normal POV*

 she grabbed paper towels wipes up the blood and cleans her cuts then Lucy gets ready for the day she puts on a black hoodie and some grey sweatpants, ties her hair up into a messy bun then puts on her air pods and heads to the station.