Love, me.

Making sense of it all

George

I nursed the pint of beer in my hand as I gazed at the foamy cap of it, knowing that I have drank too much tonight. The last weekend threw me off as that was not how I had planned it, heck, my plan to put in a long ride was skewered my a certain green eyed woman with soft curly hair that I could not get enough of.

"What are you thinking of my love?" Fergie, my best friend who had seen me through the pain when Anne managed to manipulate me from a different city for a whole year before she called it a day between us. I sighed as I looked at her pale blue eyes and shrugged, struggling to make sense of my emotions.

"I'm not ready to give my heart away again, not so soon especially after Anne. Moreover, Rae hasn't ended it officially with Erik and I don't want to just play second fiddle to someone else."

"I know it's hard, but I understand how hard it is to end a relationship over a phone, no matter how short it is. Don't rush into this but take time to assess your feelings and maybe just get to know her as a friend for now?" It was nice to have Fergie as a sounding board, and helping me make a sense of all that was happening. Her empathetic and gentle nature was a soothing balm to any hurting souls.

I nodded miserably as I took a swig out of my pint glass.

"What happened to abstaining from alcohol during race season?" Fergie teased as she watched me finish my third pint for the night. I was definitely over my limit.

"Well, you were the one who wanted to go out for a pint!" I retorted, annoyed that I was reminded by how I did not manage the long ride I had needed on my days off, which was sadly ending in twelve hours.

"Where did my lime and soda person go to?" She snorted sarcastically, as she refused to associate herself with me whenever we were at the bar getting our drinks. I grabbed her knees playfully as she squealed, and attacked my thighs, her hand dangerously close to my crotch, before pulling me closer as she stared into my eyes, an unreadable expression clouding her face, knowing that we both had too much to drink, and the distance between our lips a whisper away.

"Don't start what you cannot control." She purred as she pushed me away jokingly and rose to leave, signalling to the end of our night. I shook my head amusedly as I followed her out of the pub and bade her farewell.

As I entered my home, I sat on the couch where the ghosts of the weekend taunted me as I replayed how we teased and pleasured each other, before Rae admitted that she actually had a partner. A pang of jealously caught me by surprise as I did not like the idea of sharing my lover. If anything, I wanted their full and undivided attention.

I made it a point to speak to her about this the next time we met, but not wanting it to be at work as I did not like mixing work and personal lives together. As I toyed with my phone, I decided to leave it for now as I prepared for another day at the unit tomorrow.

I glanced at the calendar on my wall, knowing that I was two weeks from my race and I had to start cutting back on the intensity of my trainings, in order not to get burnt out before race day.