23:46
I actually hate how i feel rn bc i dont know if its just bc i dont have internet and my job is being dorectly affected or if im genuinely dpfalling off again just like last year. Im so scared I'll start dissociating and deteriorate again and I'll lose another half of my year...
Like, i dont feel anything. I dont rmemeber anything. Im never right here right now. Its been. What. Two weeks like this? I wake up go to school go back home and repeat. I do nothing worth anything anymore, everythings so saturated all the time that my hypersaturated has become the normal and i crave for either something less or something more. I can never be overwhelemed or underwhelmed. Its just. Whelmed. And i dont even know how to feel about that bc at the end of the day im so numb to everything...
Why do i have the audcity to crave for an outlet when i dont even know what i have to let out?? Theres nothing i feel thats possibly worth sharing because i dont feel anything. Its all racing against me too fadt for me to actually absorb. How did my seniors do this??? its all going by so quickly i dont even know how to react because its gone by the time i arrive!!
Can everything just slow down?
