23:09
fifty minutes. Fifty minutes and im turning sixteen and the only thing i can think of is whether or not ive wasting everything on my life. In less than an hour, i turn sixteen, and all in my head right now is whether or not anything is still even worth it even if I'm never, not even for a minute, emotionally or mentally present. Its like im just. Floating. Aimlessly levitating. looped and repeated.
i cant be anyone's friend if im never even present. How am i supposed to show them i can be there for them and i cant be here for myself. Im losing myself.
he doesn't deserve someone who cant even get a grip on anything, not even herself.
I havent been grounded in so long, ive probably forgotten what it even feels like. Weeks go by in blurs and i dont like it. I want to go back. I want to go back. I want to go back.
