"Bound by Destiny"

Chapter 25 : The Unraveling Desire and the Pain of Holding Back

Another year passed, and Wei Wuxian had turned seventeen. His appearance had matured further, his once-boyish frame filling out, but his infectious energy and mischief were still as strong as ever. He was no longer the twelve-year-old Lan Wangji had first married; he was now a young man, full of life, charm, and a beauty that had only deepened over time.

However, the tension between them had only grown sharper
Wei Wuxian, despite his usual easygoing nature, had begun to notice the cracks in their relationship. There were more moments now where Lan Wangji's gaze would linger on him a little too long, his eyes dark with something Wei Wuxian couldn't quite name. At first, Wei Wuxian had brushed it off as his imagination. He had never really thought much about things like attraction, intimacy, or desire before. They were concepts foreign to him, things he'd overheard in passing but never truly experienced himself.
But now, he was beginning to feel it too-an unfamiliar heat that coiled in his chest when Lan Wangji was near, a shiver that ran through him when their hands accidentally touched. There were nights when he would lie awake in bed, his heart racing and his body restless, replaying the smallest of touches or glances from Lan Wangji over and over in his mind.

He didn't understand it. He didn't know what to do with it.

Despite the growing feelings between them, outside forces had begun to make their lives more complicated. The elders of the Lan Clan had never been fully satisfied with the marriage between Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian. Now, with Wei Wuxian nearing adulthood and still no heir produced from their union, the whispers of discontent grew louder.

"They've been married for years now," one elder murmured during a clan meeting. "And still, there is no child. What is the point of this union if it doesn't bring any benefit to the clan?"

Others nodded in agreement. "Perhaps Wei Wuxian is unable to bear children," one suggested, though it was clear from his tone that he meant it as an insult rather than a genuine inquiry. "Or perhaps Lan Wangji is not... fulfilling his duties as a husband."

Lan Wangji had overheard these conversations, though they were always spoken behind closed doors or in hushed voices. He knew the pressure was mounting, but he refused to let it affect his decisions. Wei Wuxian was still young, not yet ready to bear such a burden, and Lan Wangji would not force him into anything before he was truly prepared.

However, he could sense the way the whispers had begun to affect Wei Wuxian. Though Wei Wuxian would never admit it outright, Lan Wangji noticed the way his usual lightheartedness dimmed when certain elders were present. The constant pressure of being scrutinized by the clan was starting to weigh on him.

Wei Wuxian's Growing Insecurities

Wei Wuxian, for all his bravado, had always been sensitive to the opinions of others, even if he pretended not to care. And lately, the constant comments from the elders had started to sink into him. He had overheard a conversation between some of the senior members of the Lan Clan just days before:

"It's strange, isn't it? They've been married for so long, but Wei Wuxian still looks like a boy. Perhaps that's why they haven't... produced any heirs yet. Lan Wangji deserve better etter."

The words had stung more than Wei Wuxian cared to admit. He had never really thought about his body in that way before, but now, he found himself staring at his reflection in the water, wondering if there was something wrong with him. He wasn't as broad-shouldered or muscular as some of the other men his age, and his face, though sharp, still held a boyishness that he couldn't seem to shake.

Was that why Lan Wangji had been so distant lately? Did he find Wei Wuxian lacking in some way? Was he waiting for Wei Wuxian to become more like the men he deserves.
Wei Wuxian's insecurities gnawed at him in quiet moments, though he tried to hide them. He didn't want Lan Wangji to see how much the whispers affected him. But at the same time, a part of him couldn't help but wonder if there was truth to them. Why hadn't Lan Wangji made any move to deepen their relationship? Why hadn't he even tried to kiss him properly or touch him in the way that other husbands did with their wives?

Was it because Wei Wuxian wasn't enough?

Lan Wangji's Struggle

On the other side, Lan Wangji was battling his own demons. He had always been disciplined, priding himself on his self-control. But as Wei Wuxian grew older and more beautiful, that control had begun to waver. There were nights when Lan Wangji would wake up in a cold sweat, his body aching with unfulfilled desire. He had dreamed of Wei Wuxian-of touching him, holding him, kissing him-and each time, he woke with a sense of shame that he couldn't shake.

He loved Wei Wuxian, deeply, but he couldn't allow himself to act on those feelings. Not yet. Wei Wuxian was still young, still growing into himself, and Lan Wangji didn't want to take advantage of him. He knew Wei Wuxian wasn't ready for the deeper aspects of marriage, and he would never force him into something he didn't understand.

But the more time passed, the harder it became to resist. Wei Wuxian's playful touches, his bright laughter, the way he would lean against Lan Wangji with such casual intimacy-all of it stirred something deep within Lan Wangji that he could barely contain. He wanted to hold Wei Wuxian closer, to kiss him until they were both breathless, to show him how much he loved him in every way possible.

But he couldn't. Not yet.

The Breaking Point

It all came to a head one evening during a clan banquet. The elders had been unusually vocal that night, their subtle barbs aimed at Wei Wuxian sharper than usual. They spoke of heirs and duty, of the need for a strong lineage to continue the Lan Clan's legacy. Wei Wuxian had tried to laugh it off, but Lan Wangji could see the way his shoulders tensed with every comment, the way his smile became more strained as the night went on.

By the time they returned to their quarters, the tension between them was palpable.

Wei Wuxian sat down on the edge of the bed, his back to Lan   Wangji, staring at the floor. "They're right, you know," he said quietly, his voice lacking its usual brightness. "Maybe there is something wrong with me. Maybe I'm not... enough for you."

Lan Wangji froze, the words hitting him like a blow to the chest. He crossed the room in an instant, kneeling in front of Wei Wuxian and gently taking his hands in his own. "Wei Ying," he said, his voice low and intense, "there is nothing wrong with you."

Wei Wuxian looked up at him, his eyes wide and vulnerable. "Then why?" he asked, his voice trembling slightly. "Why haven't you... why don't you... want me?"

Lan Wangji's heart ached at the pain in Wei Wuxian's voice. Не had been so careful, so determined not to push Wei Wuxian into something he wasn't ready for, and now it seemed that his restraint had only caused more pain. He cupped Wei Wuxian's face in his hands, his thumbs gently brushing away the tears that had begun to form at the corners of Wei Wuxian's eyes.

"I want you more than you could ever know," Lan Wangji whispered, his voice rough with  emotion. "But you are still young, Wei Ying. I don't want to rush you into anything before you're ready."

Wei Wuxian blinked, surprised by the intensity of Lan Wangji's words. "I'm not a child anymore, Lan Zhan," he said softly. "I want... I want to be close to you."

Lan Wangji's heart raced at the vulnerability in Wei Wuxian's voice. He had spent so long holding back, so long denying his own desires for the sake of Wei Wuxian's innocence, but now, it seemed that Wei Wuxian was ready to take the next step.

But even so, Lan Wangji couldn't allow himself to act on his desires just yet. He leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss to Wei Wuxian's forehead. "When the time is right," he promised, his voice filled with quiet resolve, "we will be together. But until then, I will wait. You are worth waiting for, Wei Ying."

Wei Wuxian's Silent Resolve

That night, as Wei Wuxian lay in bed beside Lan Wangji, he felt a strange sense of peace settle over him. For the first time in a long while, the insecurities that had plagued him seemed to fade into the background. Lan Wangji's words had soothed something deep inside him, reassuring him that he was enough, that he was loved.

But even so, Wei Wuxian couldn't help but feel a flicker of frustration. He was ready. He wanted to be closer to Lan Wangji, to experience everything that marriage entailed. He was no longer the boy he had been when they first married, and he wanted Lan Wangji to see that, to acknowledge that he was now a young man with  his own desires.