RETROUVAILLE

S1 C9: Unsaid words, unsaid feelings.

"I.. don't want you to pretend to like me."

Vesper pauses. He looks confused. "Pretend?"

"I.." Nevis can feel his voice starting to shake, so he takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry for what happened the other day, I know you just pity me."

"Nevis, that's crazy."

The jet black haired boy avoids looking at his face, adverting his gaze. Analyzing the hurt. "I don't want to be your pity project, Vesper."

And this seems to hit him. The boy turns to face Nevis fully, head on, and he looks hurt, angry. It's almost believable. "You- what?" His gaze is hard. "You're not a pity project, Nevis, you're-" His voice breaks. "You're my friend. We're best friends."

"You don't need to pretend."

"I'm not pretending." Vesper looks torn. "I don't even know where this is coming from, where is it coming from? I thought-" Then he realizes, he remembers.

He snapped at him by accident. No wonder why Nevis hasn't talked to him since that day, he thought his best friend was mad at him.

Vesper is sorry.

"Vesper, seriously-" Nevis cuts his train of thought, but he isn't sure if he's glad that he did that. "You don't need to put up with me anymore, I-Im sorry that you had to for so long, for years." Tears, great. "I'm sorry I've been such a burden, I'm sorry that I made you feel like you needed to be friends with me, I'm sorry you did everything with me." He squeezes his eyes shut. "I'm so sorry."

There's a moment of silence.

"Stop."

Nevis opens his eyes. Vesper is watching him, fierce, he looks desperate, like he needs him to listen. "Stop, Nevis. Stop saying you're sorry, you have nothing to be sorry about."

"But-"

"No, listen," Vesper cuts him off, and he sounds a little shaky. "You're not a burden. And I don't pity you, Nevis, none of us do, I.."

He trails off, eyes still fixated on Nevis. He's hesitant.

"You what?"

"I-" Vesper takes a breath.

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"You misunderstood me. I'm sorry." He ends up saying, he was never the best at words. Or at anything in general. "I-I didn't mean to take out my anger towards you know on you that day, I.. didn't realize that it would affect you so much."

"But my reasons don't make your feelings invalid, I still have a fault here. I'm sorry I didn't apologize sooner, I know better than everyone that you overthink the most."

Looking at the hurt all over Nevis' face, he thinks that he doesn't deserve his best friend. Just a little behind Soleil, Nevis is the person that Vesper wouldn't want to hurt the most.

Yet now, Nevis is silent, not in a bad way. The kind of silence he is when he takes all of Vesper's words in and what they really meant to heart. He knows that this is pretty selfish, but..

He wants to believe that Vesper meant what he said the way that Nevis does.

"We've been friends for so long, yet there's still a lot to develop between us." Vesper adds, sighing. "Rely on me more, Nevis, we're best friends, we were partners."