The Spark

The Ride Home

"You're a quiet bunch."

The naval officer's voice cut through the silence, annoying me.

Of course we were a quiet bunch. We sat in silence of what we'd done.

The air was thick with guilt.

Grief.

How were we to return to civilization having seen the things we saw?

Once we'd boarded the ship, we all sat around the boat, Jack and his choir separate from the schoolboys and I. We'd watched the island burn as we sailed away, the thick plumes of smoke billowing towards the sky and obscuring the rising sun.

Ralph had silently made his way down into the cabin of the boat. A part of me wanted to make sure he was doing all right and give him a shoulder to cry on, but I knew he'd want to be left alone.

I'd deliberately faced away from everyone, folding my arms on the deck and resting my head in them, watching the waves.

The pained look on Jack's face, made even more distorted by the splotchy mess of clay, was enough for me.

"Well, dinner's in ten," he said. "If you boys-and girl-want to eat anything."

No one spoke.

"Well, let me know if you want some food," he said. I heard his footsteps fade away, the quiet spray of the ocean the only sound that filled the air.

A breeze blew by, ruffing my hair and nearly knocking my flower crown off my head. Instinctively I clamped a hand down on it, hearing the crunch of the dried leaves and flowers. I didn't know why I did that.

I stood up and walked over to the door to the deck. I wasn't hungry-being on boats made me feel something awful-but the haunted, disturbed look on Ralph's face scared me. I opened the door and walked down the stairs into a long hallway. One of the doors was slightly ajar. I hesitantly walked toward it and knocked on it.

"Go away," he cried, voice laced with pain. "Just go away." I nearly broke down, the tears forming a fist in my stomach.

"O-okay," I said shakily. "Okay, I'm going." I turned to leave, but then I heard the door creak open.

"Y/n?" Ralph said softly. His hair was sticking up in a thousand different directions, and his eyes were rimmed red and raw with emotion.

"Ralph, are you-" I stopped. Of course he wasn't okay. I wasn't okay either. And I wasn't the one trying to hold it all together.

Not sure what else to do, I tentatively held my arms out and he fell into them, knees sinking to the floor.

"Ralph, it's okay, I got you," I whispered, kneeling beside him. I gently stroked his back and held him, rocking him from side to side, something my mother did when I was upset. What was I upset about? A skinned knee, a cut finger, not getting picked in gym class-it was all so trivial now, compared to what we'd been through.

"Why, Y/n?" he asked, wrapping his arms around my waist. "Why does the world have to be so cruel?"

"I don't know, Ralph. I don't know." I held him tighter, willing myself not to cry.

"Can you stay with me?" he asked, tugging at my shirt and looking at me, eyes shining with tears. "Can you please stay here with me until we get back?" I nodded.

"Of course I'll stay, Ralph," I said. Tears began to fall down my face and I shook with sobs. Something broke in me when I realized that once we got back, the chances of me seeing him again were very small.

"Don't cry, Y/n." Ralph sat up and swiped some of my tears away with his thumb. "Please don't cry." But of course I cried. How close a friendship I'd developed with him and Simon and Piggy. He was the only friend I had left, someone I could depend on when things got rough. Why did everyone I poured all my love into have to leave? Have to be taken too soon? Had to transform into something unrecognizable? Had to succumb to Death's cruel hands?