The Werewolfs Heart | Remus Lupin [EDITING]

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟐𝟏

Remus had seldom felt so utterly dejected before. He was shattered. Empty, like a cracked vessel, as exhausted as a wrung-out rag. It felt as if his heart had broken, shattered and in ruins. He had never cried as much as he had in the past few days.

Evelyn didn't show up to her next Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson. Her sister, Jennifer, was there instead, shooting him deadly glares. Remus was worried but didn't know what to do.

In the next two lessons, Evelyn was present. But she didn't look at him or say a single word. He didn't dare speak to her either. Everything felt more and more hopeless, as if a Dementor was constantly hovering over him, sucking all the joy from his life. He was afraid that Evelyn was feeling just as miserable as he was. If it was just him suffering, it would be easier to tough it out, but he couldn't bear that she was in so much pain. Especially not when it was HIM who had caused it. It had to end. Something needed to be done.

It was evening, and time for the annual Yule Ball once again. He saw her standing with her sister and friends, just as radiantly beautiful as ever, but with a wistfulness about her. She was wearing the same light pink dress as last year.

After the Scottish folk dance was over, Remus, with a fluttering heart, walked toward Evelyn. This might be a foolish idea. She might hate him. She might never want to know him again! But he had to try.

Jennifer spotted him first and glared angrily. Remus swallowed hard and tried to ignore her glare. He approached Evelyn.

She looked at him with her blue eyes.

"May I have this dance?" Remus asked nervously. Evelyn's lips tightened. She shook her head and sighed, but eventually nodded and took his hand.

He led her out onto the dance floor. They began to dance. Despite everything that had happened between them lately, all the chaos, it felt as if the world fell back into place as he danced with her. The two of them together simply felt right.

After a while, he saw a small, almost imperceptible smile on Evelyn's lips. It warmed his heart.

Remus savored the moment. It might all go wrong later, but right now, she was just his. Her sweet scent filled his sensitive nose. Her closeness made him light and happy.

Far too quickly, the music stopped. He didn't want to let her go. She curtsied, and he bowed.

"Can we go outside and talk?" he asked. She nodded.

The stars sparkled in the dark sky, the snow glimmered in the light from the Great Hall's tall windows. It was cold, and their breath turned into little clouds of smoke. Evelyn was only wearing her thin dress. Remus waved his wand, and warm air enveloped them, keeping the cold at bay.

"Evelyn, forgive me. I've been an idiot," he said, taking her hand. She revealed no emotions on her face.

"I care about you so incredibly much. I want nothing more than to be with you. But as long as you are my student, it's not possible. If..." now he came to the difficult, scary part.

"If you want, I'll wait for you. Once you graduate from Hogwarts, nothing will stop us from being together anymore. If you still want me then, I'm yours," he concluded.

Evelyn slowly wrapped her arms around him, and he returned the embrace. They stood like that for a long time.

"Can we still be friends until then?" she asked quietly.

"Always," he replied.

They stood in silence, enveloped by the stillness of the night and the soft warmth that Remus had conjured. Evelyn's head rested against his shoulder, and Remus could feel her breath against his neck. He wished he could freeze the moment in time, never letting it end. But he knew there would come a point when he would have to let go.

"I was so angry at you, Remus," she finally whispered, and he felt her voice tremble with suppressed pain. "You said we couldn't be together, but you never gave me a chance to say how I felt."

Remus took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "I know. I thought I was doing the right thing. Protecting you from me, from the dangers that come with being close to me."

"Dangers?" She pulled away, looking up at him with her blue eyes now sparkling with both tears and anger. "Remus, you are not dangerous. You are the most caring and brave person I know. What hurts is that you don't trust me. That you decided for both of us what was best."

He looked down, ashamed. "I was afraid... afraid of losing you. That if I let you get too close, you would see me for what I really am. And when you did that... you would leave me."

Evelyn slowly shook her head. "You still don't understand, do you? I know who you are, Remus. I know about your scars, your darkness, your fears. But I want to be with you anyway. I've always wanted that."

Her words hit him like a wave, filling him with a warmth and a sorrow that were hard to describe. "And I want to be with you, Evelyn. More than anything else. But if I love you, how can I put you in a situation where you have to sacrifice your future for my sake?"

"My future?" She laughed bitterly. "My future is my choice. And if that choice is to wait for you, to be with you, then it is my decision to make. Not yours."

Remus wanted to protest, but her hand on his cheek silenced him. Her gaze was intense, almost burning.

"I am not a little girl you need to protect. I am your equal. Let me be that."

They stood there in silence, her words echoing between them. He looked into her eyes and felt a wave of respect and admiration for her. She was stronger than he had ever given her credit for, braver than he had understood.

"Okay," he whispered finally, barely audible. "Okay, Evelyn. I promise not to hold you back anymore."

She smiled then, a genuine smile, and her whole face lit up in the night's light. "Good. Because we've already lost so much time."

Remus couldn't help it; he leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. It was a simple gesture, but it was charged with all the love and longing he had held back for so long.

Evelyn leaned against him again, and he felt her relax in his arms. They stood like that in silence until the bells from Hogwarts' high tower began to toll midnight.

"We should go back," Remus mumbled, but his voice was hesitant, almost reluctant. He didn't want the evening to end, but he knew they both had boundaries to respect.

Evelyn nodded and took a step back, though her hand still rested in his. "Yes, but promise me one thing."

"Anything."

"Don't hold your feelings for me back anymore. Even if we can't be together now... I don't want to lose you again."

He nodded slowly. "I promise."

They walked back toward the castle, hand in hand. Neither of them said anything, but it wasn't necessary. Their words had already said what needed to be said.

When they reached the entrance to the Great Hall, they stopped. Evelyn looked at him one last time, and he saw how many emotions were buried there. Sadness, hope, and perhaps even love.

"Good night, Remus," she said softly.

"Good night, Evelyn."

She released his hand and walked into the castle, her silhouette slowly disappearing into the darkness of the corridor.

Remus stood for a moment, watching her until she was gone. Then he turned and walked toward his own room. His heart felt lighter than it had in a long time, but also heavy with the love and longing he knew he would have to carry for a while longer.

But for the first time in a long time, he felt hope. Hope for a future where the two of them could be together, without secrets, without barriers.

And for the first time in a long time, he felt that it might not be so impossible after all.