Saving Me: Ruinene

Drifting Apart (10)

notes: yall really thought I was just gonna keep them all happy and stuff huh 😭🫵

Nene

I can still remember the day at the park when we were kids. The fort we built together, the way Rui made it seem like everything was going to be okay. But now... it feels so far away.

Walking through the halls, I see him. It's Rui, but not the Rui I remember. He's taller, quieter, like a shadow of himself. We haven't talked since elementary school, and now there's this... distance. I made it into the musical, I should be happy. But all I can think about is how different things are.

"Rui?"

He turns around. For a moment, there's a flicker of something in his eyes. But it's gone as quickly as it came, replaced by that polite smile he gives to everyone.

Rui: "Hey, Nene."

It's like we're strangers. The Rui I knew would've smiled wider, laughed, maybe even teased me a little. But now... it's like he's hiding something, and I don't know how to reach him.

Rui

Seeing Nene standing there, it brings back memories I've been trying to ignore. When everything felt... lighter. Simpler. But things aren't like that anymore.

"You're in the musical now, huh?"

I ask like it's nothing, trying to keep things light. But inside... I feel empty. There's a part of me that wants to talk to her like I did before, but I can't. It's safer this way. To keep her at a distance.

Nene

I nod, feeling the awkwardness settling in. I can't leave it like this. There's so much I want to say, but the words are tangled up inside me.

"Yeah... I-I made it."

Why does it feel so hard to talk? It wasn't like this before. I used to be able to say anything around him. Now, it's like I don't know how to speak. Why did I have to be like this? I glance at him, trying to catch his eye.

"What about you? You... seem different."

Rui

Different. Yeah, I guess I am. I've been making shows alone now, without anyone. It's easier that way. Less complicated.

"I'm fine."

That's a lie. But what else am I supposed to say? That I miss how things were? That I feel like I'm drifting further away from my life? It would be better to just get rid of it. No. I can't say that. Not even to her.

Nene

He's not fine. I can see it, even if he won't say it. There's this wall between us now, and I don't know how to break it down. But I have to try.

"You've been doing shows by yourself..."

I don't know what else to say. I want to help, but I'm not sure how.

Rui

Alone. Yeah, that's what I am now. It's better this way. People aren't like Nene. They don't get me, not like she did.

"It's easier that way. People don't really understand. I manage fine just by myself."

I try to shrug it off, like it doesn't matter. But a part of me misses how things used to be, especially with her.

Nene

I can't stand hearing that. He doesn't have to be alone, he doesn't have to shut everyone out. But how do I say that? I want him to join my troupe, to do shows with me again. But my anxiety is bubbling up, making it hard to get the words out.

"You don't have to do everything by yourself."

It comes out quickly, almost like a whisper. But I mean it. I just wish he would listen.

Rui

I can see she's trying to reach out. I wish I could let her in, but I can't. It's safe to keep her at arm's length. Even if it hurts.

"I'm fine. Really."

I give her a reassuring smile, but I can tell she doesn't believe me. And I don't blame her. But this is how it has to be.

Nene

He's pulling away, and I don't know how to stop him. I want to reach out, to tell him to not go. But the words are stuck. Why can't I just talk normally?

"R-Rui..."

My voice fades as he starts to turn away. I hate this. I hate that we've grown so far apart.

Rui

I need to leave before she asks anything else. If I stay, she'll see through me. She always does.

"Focus on your musical, Nene. You'll be great."

I turn before she can say anything more. My heart feels heavy, but I can't let her see that.

Nene

I watch him walk away, my heart sinking. I want to call out to him, to tell him that he doesn't have to be alone. But my voice doesn't come.

And just like that, the distance between us grows a little more.

Why do people change when we grow older?