I Fell In Love With You Twice-( Unfinished)

Feelings For You?

Marinette's POV
I through myself onto my chaise lounge chair, as my bag hit the floor. Today was extremely exhausting. First month of school since summer break, and I already want to die.

My soft rest interrupted by my bright red kwamii " OUCH, Marinette! you forgot I was in the bag again."

"Sorry Tikki" I mumbled before burying my face into my arms

All I wanted to do was sleep, the amazing feeling of making my own world within my mind always caught my eye. I didn't have to worry about something not going my way, because I controlled how people think, talk, speak, it was extraordinary. It took me away from the thought of not being able to have the same thing as it in reality. Reality was also Adrien, who was he to me anymore? I have known him for 4 fucking years and I considered myself lucky if I even got a sentence out to him. No. He's just a stupid high school crush nothing more and nothing less. I mean how could he love me right? he could have ran through the entire city for all I know, he is a big time model after all..But how am I any different. Because I'm Ladybug, right? Wrong. He doesn't know that, and it's not like I can tell him, and even if I could, why in the world would I? He's just going to love me for being ladybug......... not Marinette.

I know Tikki is worried about me, I love Tikki, I really do, but when it comes to being ladybug I just can't make peace with the persona. Me and ladybug are just to different in my eyes which is why I despise being ladybug. Even when I transform, I know I could be a better version of myself but instead I feel being ladybug is just a chore, a dead weight I carry on my shoulders. Everyone loves ladybug, but they can't love Marinette.
I finally feel asleep to these thoughts, questions I keep asking myself.

"Marinette, Marinette!" I woke up to Tikki's soft and sweet voice and her little paws shaking my shoulders.

"What is it Tikki? Is Mom calling me?."

She nodded "No" very gently, she looked unsure her paws together as she looked down.

"Then what is it?" I said in response.

" Marinette, I know it's hard for you, but you have to go to patrol with chat noir someday."

Her soft voice made me rethink it. I have been almost neglecting Chat. i forget that he was my partner, and he needs me, but i just can't bring myself to. My thoughts were interrupted by Tikki "look, maybe you should just talk to him once this time, your acting like he did something to you and, I'm pretty sure he does to. He's your partner Marinette, and I think you should at least try to make him somewhat happy.

Tikki's right, I have to.

"Tikki SPOTS ON."

Chat noir's POV
I sat on the railings of the Eiffel Tower, waiting for ladybug. I doubt she'll show up. It's been awhile since I've seen her. When she shows up during patrols she's not talkative and gets annoyed to easily. She doesn't lash out at me but I can see it in her eyes. I don't know what changed. I am conflicted with my feelings for her, and when we have an akuma attack she makes it quick on purpose, even if it means hurting the person under hawk moths control. During the past few weeks I told myself she could be going through something hard in her civilian life, and needed time to recover. But now, I don't know what to think.

Just as my thoughts cleared up I saw a spotted yo-yo wrap around a bar connected to the tower. It was ladybug. I have to play it cool.

"Good afternoon m'lady, I see you've decided to show up." I said with a bow.

"Hey, Chat." Said ladybug, walking to sit next to me.

We sat there in silence. I don't know why it was so awkward for me, but it was. Until she broke the silence.

"So.........what do you normally do why'll I'm gone"

" Um...Nothing much, I scope around the area to find any minor crimes here and there." I scratched the back of my head while I said that.
There were so many questions I wanted to ask, but I couldn't. The last thing I want is for her get mad at me. Even though I just wanted someone who can just listen to me and vice versa.

"I see." She said quietly looking down to her hands, which she was fidgeting with her fingers.

We sat there talking about stereotypical things, small talk if you will.
It seemed like 10 minutes had passed before ladybug excused herself. She left. Alone again. But seriously, why show up if you're not even going to stick around. I feel bad for her, but also angry, if she would just communicate her problems with me instead of using an excuse that we need to keep our secret identities a secret. Then maybe this wouldn't be happening.
Had I done something wrong? Is she upset because of me? I want to keep these thoughts away but it's the only logical excuse I can come up with.

I don't want to go home. It's an endless cycle of: eating the smallest breakfast in the world, going to school, fencing, modelling and photo shoots, then studying and homework. Being Chat noir and seeing ladybug was my ray of hope, well, used to be.
I stood up, I wanted to talk to someone, anyone. The only person that came to mind was...............Marinette.