Fandom oneshots

Dork (Russell Hayes)

Russell Hayes aka SpongeBob from Sleepover 2004

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"Hi! You're Russell right?" I ask walking up to the light curly-haired guy sitting on the grass, absent-mindedly messing with his skateboard wheels.

"Uh, yeah." He says in a nasally voice, looking up at me and squinting. He clears his throat. "Sorry. Yep, that's me. How can I help you?" He asks in a much less gross way, a lisp present. (Look he kinda sounds like he needs to take some hayfever medicine ok.)

I laugh lightly. "Cool. I'm Y/N, your assignment partner, for Mr Colman's class." I say sitting down next to him.

"Oh yeah, you sit front row, right?" He smiles at me.

"Yeah. I just thought I should introduce myself. I know the assignment isn't due for a few weeks but how could we get it done if we don't introduce ourselves." I smile back.

"Yeah, cool. We should probably get that done as soon as possible. I'm a big procrastinator." He says.

"Oh yikes. Me too. We really need to get it done then." I joke, rubbing my neck.

"Well, I'm free now. We could get it started? My roommate's out, I think." He says pointing vaguely behind him.

"Uh, yeah sure." I say standing up.

He does the same and guides me to his dorm. We walk in and take a look around. "You still haven't unpacked yet?" I ask laughing.

"Hey, I told you I'm a procrastinator." He shrugs and starts to look around too. "My books should be somewhere... One moment. You can sit on my bed." He says as he digs into a box.

I walk over to his desk. 'Maybe he left them over here.' I think trying to help him. "Uh-huh! Found it." I say Picking up the book we need. A photo falls to the ground. 'It must have been stuck to the back of the book.'

I pick it up and look at it. It's a Polaroid of a young teenage boy. He kinda looks like Russell. He's lying, asleep in a hospital bed. Head bandaged, tubes and lines run from his body.

He walks over to me and looks over my shoulder. "Oops, what's that doing here? Sorry, you had to see that." He says taking it from my hand.

"Is that you? What happened? Why do you have that?" I ask taking a seat on the bed.

"Yeah, it's a picture of me in a coma. I used to be so proud of it." He sighs sitting next to me.

"You were in a coma?! That's cool, but also concerning."

He shrugs. "It was only 3 hours. I hit my head skateboarding."

"Ouch."

He laughs. "Yeah, I was a pretty dumb kid. This one time I broke into this girl's house because she was having a sleepover and didn't even realise she wasn't there until her brother pointed it out. I mean I was in her room, digging around in her stuff and didn't notice it was empty of chicks."

"Well, that's... Creepy. And you got caught?"

"Oh yeah, we accidentally broke into his room first and he directed us to her room. He knew her group had snuck out. Honestly, it was kinda weird that he was so chill about it. And yeah it was creepy. I absolutely wouldn't do that now. I was 14 and was egged on by my friends, who also broke in with me." He says cringing at the memory.

I laugh. "Did she find out that you did that?" I ask.

"Oh yeah, that night in fact. She was doing a scavenger hunt against the popular girls for the best lunch spot in high school the following year. I showed up at one of the spots on the list to say I knew about it and to help. She had to rush home before being caught so she took my skateboard. We broke the plant thing that we used to climb up to her room, which she yelled at us for. But she forgave us because we helped them win. I even got to sit with them at the good spot the next year."

"Well, then you can't be too bad a person if she forgave you." I joke.

"I like to think I'm a good person. When I'm not zoning out or injuring myself." He shrugs.

I gasp. "Speaking of zoning out." I say holding up the book in my hands, laughing. "I guess we actually have to get to work."

He sighs when I place the book in his lap and reach over to my bag pulling out my own. "Do we have to? I mean like you said it isn't due for weeks."

"Unfortunately I think if we let it slide this time then we'll accidentally let it slide every time and then it wouldn't get done." I sigh back. "Let's just get as much as we possibly can now, before we get distracted again."

He nods sadly.

~

I stretch and yawn. I look around in surprise. "It's dark?" I point out. "How long have we been working on this?"

Russell looks over at me from his desk which he moved to a while ago. He checks the time on his laptop. "Oh damn, it's been like four hours." He says before he stretches as well.

"I think that's enough for today." I say closing my book. He nods in agreement and turns his body to face me.

"So what now? I mean I know you're only here to work on this but we could do something else." He says before his stomach rumbles. "Food?"

I laugh and nod. "Yeah, I could eat." I say packing up my stuff. "Let's go to the caf. They should still be open." I say looking at my phone.

He stands up and walks to the door holding it open for me. We walk down to the cafeteria and head to the line, which was just us and three other people. Grabbing our food we take a seat and begin eating.

"So why haven't you unpacked yet?" I ask.

"Just haven't had the motivation. Why did you unpack? You said you also procrastinate." He says with a shrug.

I laugh. "My roommate is a clean freak. Was gonna blow a fuse if I did unpack after the first week. We've compromised but my room is way cleaner than my one back home."

"Fair enough." He takes a bite and thinks for a moment. "So do you skate?" He asks.

I shake my head. "Oh no, I'm hopeless at anything sports-related or adjacent." I confess.

He smiles. "I could teach you. The biggest step in learning is jumping on. I'll try my best to not let you fall." He jokes with a wink.

I blush slightly and laugh. "I'll prepare for myself to be in a coma then." I joke back.

He snorts. "It's not that bad. A hard reset. Woke up refreshed."

"Good to know. How about ask me around exam time? Get my mind off stuff and relax and if I do go into a coma I get to skip exams. Good either way." I laugh.

"I'm serious. I'll teach you. I'll hold your waist so you don't fall. It'll be fun." He says smiling.

"Sure."

"Really?" He asks tilting his head. "No jokes about it just being an excuse to touch you? That it's creepy or weird."

I laugh. "Nah, I trust you." I shrug. "And maybe I want you to hold me." I tease with a wink.

It's his turn to blush. "Oh! Ok." He says disoriented. He takes another bite of his food before he looks up. "Oh, we're never gonna be able to finish that assignment. Are we?"

I laugh. "It's gonna be a struggle."

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And that's all I've got for now.

I wish it was better considering there are only like 6 Fics for this movie on the whole of the internet.

I love Russell. I just rewatched this movie before I started writing this and he's so funny. In case you are like "I don't remember his name being Russell in the movie" that's because his name is never actually said in the movie. He's only ever referred to as SpongeBob. But he's credited as Russell. The Hayes part is what he's listed as on IMDB so idk.

Anyway that's all

Bye

Drew x