Paint His Love

Chapter 15: Yin-yang

***

Yibo was anxious these past few days. Zhan had rested and he seemed fine but something changed after that incident.

Two weeks had passed since that incident and within those times, he discovered some changes.

Zhan refused to smile. He just stayed in  his room, sitting beside the window. Hugging his knees, leaning his face on it while staring at the scenery outside.

He refused to go out. Normally Zhan would take him or Hannah to a stroll. Basking under the sun, catching bugs, making flower crowns, running in the garden and painting. There were so many activities, that he tirelessly did, in every single day yet Zhan was uninterested to do those.

Sometimes, he'll witness Zhan, staring blankly in the air. Eyes dim and dull. They lost their vigor and what he had seen, was the dark aura surrounding him. Even the room were dimly lit. The curtains hindering the sunlight to enter the room. Gone the flowers, roses beside the bed. The plants in the corner were threatening to wither.

It was depressing and Yibo wasn't use to this scene, to this atmosphere, especially to Zhan, him reacting this way.

It was even worse, when one time, he chose to visit and check Zhan's condition. He saw him all curled up on the bed, crying.

"It was my fault, my fault."

Zhan repeatedly said those phrase like a never ending chant. The self-blame was too deep. Zhan really believed, that it was his fault. He'd seen this scenario, he saw himself, right after that car accident. He blamed himself, why it happened.

His eyes were bloodshot. You could see the pain in them. Zhan wasn't faking it, it was true. He wasn't acting nor doing this for drama.

His nose was red, his eyes never stop shedding tears and he never stopped talking, self-blame and all. He even went to the point where he started hurting himself, pulling his hair.

Yibo saw all of these and it shattered him. His chest throbbed in pain and he rushed forward, stopping Zhan from hurting himself. It was worse, worser compared to  behavior in the past. Yes, he drowned himself in liquors and he didn't take care of himself but he never tempted to do this, pulling his hair and scratching both arms, resulting for some injuries.

"No no no Baby. Stop Zhan. Please Honey."  - He held Zhan and made him released his grip on his hair.

Zhan then embraced him, clinging to him as he cried. Seeing him reducing in this state, was heartbreaking. It wasn't his Zhan. It wasn't his baby.

His baby loves to smile, to laugh, not like this. His depression led him to such a thing, inflicting self-harm.

His cries and wails, sounds that screamed agony and pain. It made Yibo felt weak. It was bone chilling and it scared him. It scared him, for underneath that smiling face lies something like this, gloomy and depressing.

His cries, it made him almost breathless. For he finds it harder to breathe. Seeing Zhan crying? It shattered not just his heart but his soul. The pain he felt now? It was nothing compared to what he experienced in the past.

All of the pain and heartaches, those accumulated little by little, until it overflowed. Until Zhan couldn't hold it in and he burst. He broke down. It grew in a slow pace but it became so lethal, that Zhan was reacting this way.

He held in, thinking that he could do it, that he wouldn't breakdown. But then the trigger was pulled and it resulted to this.

"Yibo, it hurts. It hurts. It hurts."