toxic

hug

after a few days that i only stayed locked in my room and didn't even talk to anyone, my food finished and i needed to get out. although, i didn't want to face max or norris.

i went to the kitchen and letting out a sigh of relief, thankfully no one is there. i grab some cookies, two bags of chips, four bottles of water and some gummy bears.

i walk back to my room, but i bump into a hard chest. i look up. norris.

"may i help you?"

"why are you getting so much food? is miss alexandra on her period?"

"fuck off" i said walking past him.

i can see his annoying grin even with my back turned at him. i put my snacks on the bed and eat a cookie. i'm so pissed now that not even food can save me.

norris enters the room. what the fuck he wants now?

"hey, love"

"bye, norris" i get up and shut the door right in his face and lock it.

"i'm gonna stay here until you unlock the door. even if it takes months or years" he said quietly on the other part of the door.

"leave me alone, norris. you don't get it when somebody tells you this? i hate you with all of my heart. go away. go the fuck away"

"either you like it or no, i'm here for you, alexandra. i will never leave you just because you say so. you just tell me this because you're angry"

"that's why you don't have many real friends, because you annoy them to death! you annoy me, the person you hate-"

"i don't hate you. i could never hate you, love"

"shut up! go away!"

"fine. i'll go. if you need anyone, i'll be in my room ok, love?" he said. i almost see his pleading eyes for me to say 'ok'.

"sure. thanks" i said as i let out a breath hearing him walk into his room.

i spend most of my week in my room, crying, eating and sleeping. i can't even bring myself to get up from the bed, i barely make it to the bathroom cause i wait till the last moment.

i hear a knock at the door. "go away, norris"

the door opens and it's not norris who i was ready to slap, but max. this is worse.

"hey, alex..." max said quietly.

i get up from the bed and wipe my tears. "how could you lie like that? right in my face?"

penelope comes from max's back. i open my arms. i can't yell when she's around. i know how she would feel if the yells echo through the house.

she arrives in my arms. i hug her tightly. only if i were her real aunt...penelope isn't a verstappen, but i ain't either and still thought that i'm actually related to these assholes.

"i missed you, alex" she mumbles.

"missed you too, p" i mumble back.

i just needed this type of hug. i was carving for it and i finally got it. it's feels so good. to be missed by someone, to have someone to care for me.

it's almost painful how i lived this years in a lie, a big one.