at dead of night | a twilight fanfiction

at dead of night | 12

march 11, 2005

it wasn't difficult finding the opportunity to apologize to bella. one day after school when edward wasn't around her house, i approached her with wrapped leftovers from mami the day prior and an apology. she stammered, clearly caught off guard, but nonetheless accepted the apology. 

so now, we're back to being... friends? of course, edward comes before anyone else, so we don't hang out as much as we used to, which wasn't often.

with her apology out of the way, i even had the courage to apologize to leah, which was significantly trickier. she wasn't necessarily avoiding me, but clearly respected my need for space. 

understandably, our talk was a lot lengthier compared to mine with bella. there was a bit of crying from my part, some comforting from leah, and a lot of laughs as to why i was crying, which was no reason at all. 

leah has no clue if she still likes sam the way she used to, romantically. she knows that feelings are still involved, but she has no clue what they mean. yes, she still likes him, but she has no clue if it's because of her old feelings, or if it's her mind playing tricks with her.

i understood what she meant, and had no reason to rush her feelings, especially since mine are a jumbled mess. 

and now, with their apologies out of the way, they have led to me in leah's room once more. she was seated on her bed, and i sat against her bed on the floor. i was currently working on my homework since i had work-work tomorrow. a movie was playing, i think leah's watching it, but i wasn't paying much attention. i wasn't paying attention to my homework either, i kept thinking back to alice. i've apologized to bella, and leah, but alice i am even more nervous to apologize to.

because she's not harmless.

a groan subconsciously left my lips to the voice. this got leah's attention.

"finally ready to move onto the bed?" she teased, looking away from the tv and towards me on the floor. a sigh left my lips as i lean my head against the side of the bed, eye closed as i think about alice and apologizing to her. 

"yeah, scoot over." i say, ditching my books on the floor as i turned and climbed onto the bed, naturally pulled towards leah's side. i rest my head on her shoulder, watching the movie, but not really paying attention.

"what's on your mind?" leah asked me softly.

"alice." i answer a little too fast, which made leah shift some where she sat. "i've been a bit... iffy around her, and kinda avoiding her? i feel like i need to say sorry, but i don't know how." i continued, closing my eyes with a sigh. 

leah didn't say anything right away.

"well, it sounds a bit like us." she says after a pause, which made me furrow my eyebrows. i opened my eyes to look at her. "you wanted to apologize to me, but didn't know how. so what do you do? you barged into my room in tears and cried like a baby until i forgave you." she teased, and i gasped at her jokes and shoved her with a smile as she laughed. 

"¡que grosera!"¹ (1: how rude!)

"i'm kidding!" she quickly says, nearly falling off the bed. i relaxed, the movie filling in the silence between us as we sat there. 

"but, why do you want to apologize?" she asks. "don't tell me she or somebody in her weird little family did something to upset you." i couldn't tell if she sounded serious or not, but her jab towards alice and her family was weird to hear from leah. this kind of stuff i expected from jacob, quil and embry, so hearing it from leah as well made me curious.